Chapter Sixteen: The Foolish Dragon

“Your Highness, the night air is chilly. Let us return to the manor and wait inside!”

In front of the Duan residence in Tianyu City, a noble and delicate-looking youth sat atop a massive stone lion, his arms wrapped protectively around the lion’s head. A string of clear, glistening snot hung at his lips. A few blades of grass clung to the ends of his hair—evidence that he had once again dragged several servants with him, crawling through dog holes as was his wont.

This little prince of the Duan family was named Duan Yanlong, nicknamed “Silly Dragon.” Youngest son of Duan Zhengtian, he had been a treasured jewel since birth. His father, a grandmaster, taught him how to wield domineering true energy, while the gentle and refined Lady Feng guided him in matters of conduct, etiquette, and virtue.

Alas, this youngest son was born a little slow-witted, making him the target of endless bullying from other children. Whether it was having his clothes soaked in urine, his face smeared with dog dung, or enduring the constant taunt of “idiot,” he met it all with an innocent, dazzling smile.

Silly Dragon had never done a single wicked thing; on the contrary, he was the most sensible, kind-hearted child in all of Tianyu City. As a small boy, he once helped ants move their nest. Fearing they would be trampled by passersby, he lay on the ground all day in his fine clothes, surrounded by servants who forbade anyone from stepping near.

On hunting trips meant to teach him archery, he would encounter a pitiful little rabbit, and the hunt would instantly turn into a rescue mission. In a fit of indignation, he even shattered the chains and freed all the caged rabbits.

One winter morning, he opened his window to find a half-frozen bird on the sill. Without hesitation, he summoned the city’s best healer and spent lavishly to treat the bird’s injuries.

For such a beloved son, Duan Zhengtian spared no care or affection. Whatever caught his boy’s fancy—no matter how trivial—was granted without hesitation. He even swore an oath to protect this simple-minded son from harm. Anyone who dared make him unhappy would find misery befalling their own family.

“How many times must I say it? I’m not going anywhere! I’m staying here to wait for Father. Keep pestering me, and you’ll regret it.”

The boy sniffed, clutching the stone lion with one arm, and turned to shake a fist at the servants, who instantly fell silent.

Suddenly, a strange screech pierced the air.

The servants looked up; Silly Dragon gazed skyward as well. It was the beast responsible for delivering the daily news.

A creature resembling a great eagle, with a pouch hanging from its neck, swooped down and dropped a scroll marked “Great Song Headlines”—the latest edition of the daily paper.

Silly Dragon raised his hand and, channeling a burst of domineering energy, caught the scroll and guided it gently into his open palm.

Unrolling it, he caught sight of a hand-drawn black-and-white image and immediately clung to a servant’s arm, laughing with delight.

He had recognized a familiar face in the illustration.

The paper’s layout was simple, listing several current events. In the top corner, it spoke of a scholar burning the midnight oil and finally earning top marks in the imperial exams. Beside it was news of a novel snack in town, now on special offer and inviting all to sample.

Lower down, it reported a sow in some household giving birth to forty-six piglets, setting a new record—“News that makes pigs weep and listeners sigh,” the paper quipped.

In the bottom right, bold words declared, “Snake demon of Misty Village slain—justice prevails!” Beneath was a hand-drawn illustration: Wu Yiyi making a V-sign, villagers from Misty Village gathered round, Duan Zhengtian embracing Lady Feng.

Li Hu’s head was only half visible, obscured by the crowd, but Li Pingyang fared worst—only the back of his head made it into the frame!

Silly Dragon was fixated on that cropped head, grinning foolishly. Perhaps it was some mysterious intuition, but he actually recognized it as belonging to his childhood friend, Brother Dog Egg.

Old Huang, a servant pulled over to look, stared blankly at the image of the back of a head, utterly bewildered but forced to smile politely so as not to dampen the young master’s spirits.

Leaping down from the stone lion, Silly Dragon skipped off toward Tianyu Harbor, bounding along the streets in joy.

His fretful servants hurried after him, brandishing his half-eaten chicken leg and a few nibbled pastries, urging him to be careful as he ran.

Every time he passed a pedestrian, Silly Dragon would excitedly grab their hand and announce, “My Brother Dog Egg is back!” Without exception, everyone he told wore looks of abject terror.

Aunt Wang, blessed with sharp hearing, was the first to catch wind of his words. Her face tight with anxiety, she snatched up all the meat buns from her stall, shooed away her customers, and declared she’d sold out for the day.

The neighboring pastry chef, Master Zhou, rolled up his sleeves and made a hasty escape, abandoning even his shoes as he pushed his cart down the street.

It was as if the plague had arrived—everyone scrambled to pack up their stalls, moving with such speed it was as if they vanished in a blink.

Within moments, the street was deserted.

A chilly breeze swept through, leaving only Silly Dragon, snot streaming, and his servants standing awkwardly behind.

“Why are they more excited than I am?” Silly Dragon sniffed, turning to ask Old Huang, who stroked his graying beard with a calm face, though his legs trembled beneath him.

It was Li Dog Egg, after all, who once convinced the young prince to saddle Old Huang like a horse and shave off half his eyebrow.

Other servants had, while bathing, been caught by Silly Dragon and Li Dog Egg and mocked for their “little worm.” Some had their meals laced with a full bag of laxatives—thanks to those two scoundrels, their constipation was cured and for a month, they barely wore trousers.

Still others had woken from sleep to find a snake in their pant leg—harmless, its fangs removed, but ever since, even the sight of a rope made their hearts race.

By the time they reached Tianyu Harbor, the boat carrying Li Pingyang and his companions had already docked. From afar, Silly Dragon spotted Li Dog Egg and came running, shouting his name.

For reasons unknown, Li Pingyang had been sneezing since earlier, as if someone had been cursing him from afar.

Memories came flooding back as Li Pingyang watched the snot-nosed troublemaker barreling toward him. He felt a wave of fatigue, but managed a reply.

Spreading his arms, he scooped Silly Dragon up, remarking that he’d grown taller. Setting him down, he ruffled the boy’s hair as one might a beloved pet.

Silly Dragon clung tightly to Li Pingyang’s waist, overflowing with longing. Li Pingyang frowned slightly as he watched a long string of snot wiped bit by bit onto his clothing.