How to Leave

"Xueqing took the punishment in my place," Yan'er said as she pulled the veil over her face again.

"Who would've thought she could be so fond of you by association," Guan Canghai remarked, without much feeling for Xueqing, simply following his intuition.

"Why did you suddenly appear in Saizhou?" Yan'er masked her overwhelming joy, trying to keep her composure. When she first saw Guan Canghai, she thought she was hallucinating, or perhaps dreaming. Yet, the rational part of her knew she was not dreaming—Guan Canghai had truly come.

"I knew you were here. What, have you gained weight?" Guan Canghai looked at the slight swell of her belly, something flickering in his mind.

"You..." Yan'er suddenly lowered her head, unsure how to explain the child. The truth was the child belonged to Pan Yueyang. How could she say it was Guan Canghai's?

"Mine?" Guan Canghai gazed at the top of Yan'er's head, sensing that her reluctance to meet his eyes meant she considered the child his.

"Yes." Still, Yan'er did not lift her head. She dared not speak, afraid that a single misplaced word would ruin everything. She had thought herself prepared, but now, face-to-face with Guan Canghai, she was at a loss.

"That night?" What a coincidence, Guan Canghai mused.

"Could you not bring it up again? This child is mine—mine! It has nothing to do with you!" Yan'er suddenly bristled, unwilling for Guan Canghai to keep guessing or for his questioning to stir up her hatred for that man all over again. Perhaps Pan Yueyang’s shadow lingered in her heart, but mostly, it was hate.

"Have the child," Guan Canghai said, pulling Yan'er into his arms and fixing her with a steady gaze. "Give birth to my child."

Yan'er was startled by his sudden resolve. Her mouth, hidden under her veil, hung open in disbelief. She could hardly believe that this child meant so much to him. "Tianfeng—"

"Mu Qianxue has already surrendered the Imperial Seal. Now, I am the ruler of the Tianfeng Kingdom." Guan Canghai spoke plainly, revealing why he had not sought out Yan'er in recent months.

"And her?" Yan'er blinked, struggling to process all these events. Had so much really changed in just a few months?

"She took her own life." Guan Canghai released Yan'er. "Only as she lay dying did I learn something. I’m not sure if it’s true, but the dead are gone—why dwell on it?"

"What did you learn?" Yan'er sensed it must be important, prompting her to press further.

"Mu Qianxue said she and I are twins. Mother, trying to save her own child, meant to swap me with her sister’s baby, but the nursemaid switched the wrong one—Mu Qianxue was sent away instead. Her mother, unconscious for three days after birth, gave my mother time to do as she willed. When the woman awoke and found she had a daughter while my mother had a son, she killed my mother and tried to dispose of me as well. I survived by sheer luck." Guan Canghai didn't know if it was the truth; he was simply repeating Mu Qianxue’s dying words.

"And what about the other woman’s child?" Yan'er puzzled it out. Guan Canghai’s mother had twins—a boy and a girl. Her aunt also bore a child but was unconscious for three days. The original plan was to swap Guan Canghai with her sister’s child, but instead, Mu Qianxue was sent to safety, and the sisters became enemies. Mu Qianxue was raised as a princess, while Guan Canghai survived in obscurity. But what happened to the aunt's child?

"Still alive," Guan Canghai replied, suddenly smiling at the strangeness of his origins. His mother had been shrewd, keeping the twin’s existence secret to protect her son from her sister’s malice. Ironically, she had swapped the wrong child, sending Mu Qianxue to safety while her own child grew up under the enemy’s nose. Such was fate.

"Where?" Yan'er, soon to be a mother herself, couldn't help but care about Guan Canghai’s family history.

"Why are you so interested? Whether it's a boy or girl, where would I know? These were only Mu Qianxue’s dying words—there’s no proof. Am I supposed to believe her just like that?" Guan Canghai felt no attachment to kinship.

"I’m just concerned for you," Yan'er managed a smile, secretly admiring his mother's cunning.

"We’ll investigate in time. Today, I’ve come to take you away with me," Guan Canghai said, gazing at her with deep feeling. "Though you’ve truly disappointed me."

Yan’er, just beginning to feel happy, was puzzled by his sudden change of tone, unsure of his intentions.

"Why is it that every time I see you, you’re always in such a sorry state?" Guan Canghai resumed his old demeanor, raising his hand in mock disdain as if Yan'er were a beggar.

"Get out!" Yan'er, at her wit’s end, could only force out the word, both embarrassed and exasperated.

The room fell silent. Yan'er, defeated, slumped onto a stool, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Do you think I want this? If not for the child, if not for survival, why would I endure such hardship, waiting every day?"

"Waiting?" Guan Canghai caught the word.

"Yes, waiting—for someone to appear." Yan'er wiped her tears, her heart skipping a beat. She mustn’t let her feelings spill so easily; a single slip could change everything.

"I doubt you’re waiting for me," Guan Canghai said, turning to study the room.

"I’m waiting for the child’s father. This child isn’t yours. You should go." Yan’er’s stubborn retort was an act; she knew a woman’s best tactic now was to play coy.

"You’ve been living like this?" Guan Canghai frowned. The room was dark and damp, the musty air thick from the moment he entered. There was little inside—an earthen kang, a pair of filthy bedding, a bundle that was likely all Yan’er owned. The only furniture was a single chair and a three-legged table, propped up with a stick, its paint peeling. Not even a teapot, just a chipped cup, and the two wooden stools where they sat. Was this really how Yan’er had survived?

"Yes," Yan'er nodded, not wanting to say more. Her mind was preoccupied with the child. She didn’t know what else Guan Canghai might do, but the child was nearly twenty days older than the one conceived with him. Though the difference was less than a month, any competent physician could tell by her pulse. Guan Canghai was no fool—how could she deceive him?

"Mubai has been with me all along," Yan’er said, glancing gratefully out the window.

"That junior apprentice?" Guan Canghai remembered Bai Li Mubai—an exceptional talent, and perhaps the only one he truly dreaded as a rival.

"He’s been protecting me. Oddly, these past two months he hasn’t visited," Yan’er said, steering the conversation elsewhere.

"He’s gone to the imperial city. With war looming between Tianfeng and Panlong, he must be aiding his senior brother," Guan Canghai guessed, not far from the truth.

"…Shall we wait for Mubai to return?" Yan’er suddenly didn’t want to leave with Guan Canghai so soon. War hadn’t broken out yet, and it wasn’t the time for her to step into the open.

"No need to wait. I’ll take you back to the palace and make you my consort," Guan Canghai said, slipping his arm around her waist.

"No..." Yan’er stepped back, overwhelmed by the sudden turn of events.

Glancing at the sky, Yan’er pushed open the door. "By the way, you said Wildflower was only pretending to be mute?" she recalled.

"Anyone who comes to Saizhou carries some monstrous crime. Pretending to be mute helps them escape many calamities," Guan Canghai replied.

They sat in silence, gazing at each other, until Guan Canghai suddenly tensed.

Before Yan’er could react, the door burst open and Bai Li Mubai rushed in, anxious. "Yan’er! Come with me, quickly."

Seeing him, Yan’er handed him a cloth. "Mubai, speak slowly. What’s wrong?"

Bai Li Mubai’s eyes narrowed as he dashed toward the window opposite the door. Guan Canghai sensed a powerful energy and retreated a few steps, ready for a fight. The two men clashed, swift and fierce. Yan’er, unskilled in martial arts, could only hurry out the door, circle around the house, and reach the backyard.

"Stop! Don’t fight!" Yan’er, out of breath and clutching her belly, leaned against the thatched hut.

Guan Canghai and Bai Li Mubai continued exchanging blows, ignoring her cries. Yan’er glanced around—if they kept this up, they’d attract attention. Gritting her teeth, she rushed between them.

Both men saw her leap in and simultaneously pulled back, each catching Yan’er so she didn’t fall. "Can’t you two calm down? It’s not safe here—please, stop fighting," she pleaded, still half-suspended in their arms.

"I’ll carry you back," Bai Li Mubai said, moving much faster than Guan Canghai as he picked Yan’er up and skirted around the hut. Guan Canghai had also meant to pick her up but, recalling her disheveled state, hesitated just long enough to lose out. He forced a smile, awkwardly following them back inside.

The atmosphere in the small house grew tense. Both men stared at Yan’er, who swallowed nervously.