Only Loving Oneself

Pan Yueyang gazed at Moon City from afar, noting the continuous movement of shadows along its walls. The sky was already growing dark, making it difficult to see clearly. Calculating the days, he knew that the floodwaters would break through the breach within a day or two. "Mubai, the gates of Moon City may have already been opened," he said.

Baili Mubai remained silent, his mind occupied with finding Yan’er. From such a distance, he could not make out who hung from the city tower.

"Follow me into Moon City!" Pan Yueyang reasoned that if the flood engulfed the city, Guan Canghai would ensure his troops suffered no losses. Now, the enemy had likely abandoned the city in their retreat.

Guan Canghai stood atop the city wall, his purple robe forever accentuating his noble air. He dragged the fallen woman to her feet. "You, watch!"

Yan’er, jarred awake by his rough handling, felt an icy chill seep through her body—a pain so intense it seemed she hovered on the edge of death. Her hair clung wetly to her face, and her lips, pale as death, moved soundlessly.

Guan Canghai hurled her against the stone wall. Only then did Yan’er force her eyes open. At that moment, Pan Yueyang, Baili Mubai, and a young vanguard were already charging toward Moon City.

At the city gates, crowds of commoners surged outward, shouting and fleeing in desperation. What had happened? Yan’er could not comprehend.

"Pan Yueyang is truly ruthless," Guan Canghai remarked, his voice neither loud nor soft, yet clear enough for Yan’er to hear every word.

"Senior!" Baili Mubai’s heart filled with admiration as he saw Guan Canghai still standing composed atop the besieged city. With Moon City falling without a fight, he remained calm and unyielding.

Pan Yueyang leapt onto the city wall, his movement light as a dragonfly skimming water, landing not far from Guan Canghai. He glanced at Yan’er, who was slumped against the wall for support.

"General Pan, your composure is admirable," Guan Canghai remarked, his gaze flickering to Yan’er.

"Not as steady as yours, General Guan. After all, Moon City has fallen without resistance, and you resemble a stray dog, clinging to battle in such dire straits." With that, he brandished his spear.

Baili Mubai followed swiftly, the young vanguard climbing the stone steps to stand behind Pan Yueyang, all faces grave and ready for combat.

"General Pan, don’t you wish to see if your beloved son is still well?" Guan Canghai seized Yan’er by the collar and flung her between the two men.

Yan’er managed a bitter smile. She was nothing but a grain of sand—whoever found her would simply kick her along the way.

Pan Yueyang did not even glance at Yan’er, fixing his gaze on Guan Canghai. "Women mean little to me—nothing more than dispensable things."

Yan’er closed her eyes—not because she did not wish to see, but because she was too weak to do so. She listened with what little consciousness remained as Pan Yueyang declared her insignificant. A mocking, self-deprecating smile curved her lips. So, in his heart, she was nothing but a plaything—perhaps too beautiful a toy, and for that fleeting beauty, he had cherished her for a moment.

"General Pan, you set a fine example for all men—the way you treat your beauties is enough to break anyone’s heart." Guan Canghai, seeing Yan’er’s closed eyes, found himself worrying for her.

"Hmph! Guan Canghai, you are no different. You use women as playthings, so why put on airs of magnanimity before others?" Pan Yueyang lunged forward, spear thrusting straight at Guan Canghai.

Like a sweeping wind among fallen leaves, Guan Canghai dodged, his body tensing as dozens of silver threads shot out toward Pan Yueyang. Pan Yueyang evaded their entanglement, not allowing them near, while Baili Mubai darted toward Yan’er.

Guan Canghai, skilled in ranged attacks, saw Baili Mubai approach Yan’er and instantly redirected his threads at him. Baili Mubai, who never used weapons and relied solely on his bare hands, knew well the threads’ deadly poison and dared not approach recklessly. He retreated several steps. Pan Yueyang pressed his attack, spear whistling through the rain with astonishing speed. Guan Canghai barely managed to evade.

In a flash, Guan Canghai leapt to Yan’er’s side and kicked her. "Woman, are you dead yet?" Without waiting for a reply, he hefted her onto his shoulder. With Pan Yueyang’s furious spear before him and Baili Mubai and soldiers at his back, Guan Canghai had little choice but to use Yan’er as a shield.

Seeing Yan’er in Guan Canghai’s grasp, Baili Mubai dared not act rashly. "Guan Canghai, let Yan’er go. She’s an innocent woman!"

"Heh, blame her for being Pan Yueyang’s woman!" Guan Canghai shot Pan Yueyang a look.

Pan Yueyang merely smiled. Against those silver threads and the spear, defense was possible, but offense was difficult. First, Guan Canghai’s ranged attacks made it hard to get close; second, the spear created distance, enough for Guan Canghai to strike again. Pan Yueyang abandoned the spear and drew the soft sword at his waist.

"Pan Yueyang, I’ll ask this on her behalf," Guan Canghai said, unafraid of Pan Yueyang’s sword. Though rain soaked his body, his wicked charm remained undiminished.

"Speak."

"Have you ever loved this woman?" Guan Canghai felt a faint tremor from the slender figure on his shoulder. He smiled to himself—woman, don’t be too grateful.

Yan’er, her head hanging down, felt blood rushing to her brain. She wanted to know the answer too.

"If you love her, then she’s yours," Pan Yueyang replied with disdain.

Yan’er’s heart jolted. What nonsense was this? Was she to be passed back and forth between them like a parcel? She dug her nails into Guan Canghai’s shoulder in anger.

Guan Canghai felt her grip tighten, her agitation making her claw at him so fiercely that he was genuinely annoyed.

"Pan Yueyang, do you truly not love her?" Guan Canghai was almost amused.

"Hmph, a man’s ambition is the world—why waste time on a woman? She can’t help me conquer cities or secure alliances, has no skill in managing a household, and all she’s good for is warming my bed. Since when have I ever lacked such servants?" Pan Yueyang was puzzled by Guan Canghai’s motives—he had planned his moves carefully, and Guan Canghai was simply a trapped beast.

"Ah, what a heartless man you are. There, you have your answer, the one you’ve stubbornly sought all along," Guan Canghai said, addressing Yan’er.

The figure on his shoulder gave no response. Baili Mubai fixed his gaze on her hand.

After a long silence, Yan’er’s fingers twitched. With great difficulty, she spoke: "Put me… down…"

Guan Canghai, for once obedient, set her gently on the ground. Yan’er, half-reclining, forced herself to look up at Pan Yueyang.

"Is it truly as you said?" she asked, her trembling voice tinged with utter despair.

Pan Yueyang ignored her. When he saw her released, he gathered his strength, preparing to fight Guan Canghai again. Guan Canghai’s silver threads flew in defense. Having already experienced the might of Pan Yueyang’s soft sword, Guan Canghai dared not let his threads touch it. He aimed the threads at Pan Yueyang’s body, dodging the sword whenever it appeared.

The two men clashed fiercely, neither gaining the upper hand.

Baili Mubai ran to Yan’er, swiftly scooping her into his arms. "Yan’er, are you cold? Hang on," he urged, ready to carry her away.

"No, put me… down…" Yan’er pressed a despairing hand to his chest, her gaze fixed there as if she could look nowhere else.

"Yan’er! My brother is fighting to save you!" Baili Mubai could not understand her stubbornness. Although his brother’s words had been harsh, it could be seen as a deliberate slight to prevent Guan Canghai from using her against him.

"…Let…go…" Yan’er, her words barely intelligible, pressed weakly against his chest.

True feelings or false ones—no one could decide but her. She had spent every day with this man; how he treated her, only she knew. Pan Yueyang had never given her his true heart. As a woman, she could feel it in her bones, though she might not have realized it until Guan Canghai forced her to think.

She had given all her affection, loving this lofty, domineering man—only to realize she was nothing but a plaything to him.

Baili Mubai, seeing her obstinacy, could only set her down, supporting her as she struggled to stand in the rain. He held her tightly, anxiety written on his face.

The two men fought on, each attack aimed at the other’s vital points. A silver thread grazed Pan Yueyang’s face, and as he dodged, a lock of his hair was sliced clean through. Pan Yueyang brandished his soft sword, unwilling to yield, moving as one with the blade and launching himself at Guan Canghai. Guan Canghai’s poisonous silver threads shot forth—who knew how many he had concealed? They flew at Pan Yueyang like the unending rain, merging into the sword formation.

Yan’er watched in terror, seeing Pan Yueyang struggle against the endless threads. No matter how fast or fierce his sword, he could not fend them all off.

A few threads darted toward Pan Yueyang’s feet. The sword could only shield the upper body; his feet were vulnerable. From somewhere, Yan’er summoned the strength to push Baili Mubai aside and, like an arrow, threw herself in front of Pan Yueyang’s feet—taking the blow of the silver threads across her back.

Guan Canghai’s threads were deceptively light, but they cut deep, the poison spreading swiftly through the body.

Guan Canghai hesitated, too late to pull back. He could only watch as Yan’er desperately clung to Pan Yueyang, his gaze cold and hard.

"Yueyang…" Yan’er lifted her head weakly to look at him.

Pan Yueyang had not expected her to shield him. Seeing her, already tormented to the brink of death by Guan Canghai, a pang of pain pierced his heart like a needle. But he quickly suppressed the feeling, staring straight at Guan Canghai.

As all present were momentarily stunned, Guan Canghai seized Yan’er with a surge of inner power. Her frail body flew into his arms. He pulled out a pill and forced it into her mouth. "You shouldn’t die for him. He only loves himself. For him, you’re not worth it." With that, he tossed Yan’er to Baili Mubai.

"Pan Yueyang, our battle has only just begun. If you want Moon City, take it now. Sooner or later, the world will be mine!" Guan Canghai turned and abandoned the city, disappearing into the rain.