Chapter Seventy-Eight: A Slightly Absurd Notion

When I got home, I took a pack of cigarettes from the drawer as usual, lit one at a leisurely pace, and stared out at the clear sky while memories of her came back to me.

I wondered what she was doing at that moment, what the weather was like overseas, whether she had grown used to the food and lodging there, whether in the deep of night, when everything was still and lonely and boring, she ever thought of me too...

Since returning from the drink shop, I had always felt as though something had been added to my heart. Was it because I had been influenced by Sister Rose's own story? Or had some thoughts that were already mine simply been stirred awake by accident?

I fiddled with the bank card she had left behind, while a struggle kept churning inside me. Even if I worked harder, in what year and month could I ever catch up to her pace? What kind of financial standing would I need before I could walk down the street with her freely, without being reproached by anyone unreasonable, without being looked down on by those who had never known love, and without her family rejecting me?

I drew on my cigarette and slipped the card into my wallet, yet I still had no clear direction. How exactly should I strive, and toward what should I strive, for that to be right? With my abilities, what could I even accomplish?

Just when I was lost and at a standstill, I received a call from Sister Shiyu. Her voice was as gentle as ever. No matter how much trouble I ran into, the instant I heard her voice, I always felt my worries melt away. Because of that, I found myself growing even more infatuated with her voice, or more precisely, with that meticulous tenderness of hers.

"Miss me, Sis?"

She was obviously just awake, punctuating her words with the occasional yawn. In that soft voice, she said, "I just woke up. I was thinking of having something to eat and then going out for a walk. Are you free?"

"Of course. As this great idler, the one thing I have in abundance is time."

Sister Shiyu would never say anything that might embarrass or put someone on the spot, because she was simply too kind. So kind it made one ache for her.

"It's settled then. I'll get up and wash up first. Wait for my call, good boy."

With that, Sister Shiyu hung up. I knew she cared a great deal about how she looked in public, and she would definitely take her time getting ready. That simple phrase about washing up probably meant a very long stretch of time.

After putting down the phone, I went out for a walk to kill time. Staying cooped up at home was far too dull. What I found even harder to bear was that every room, every corner of the apartment, seemed to carry some trace of her, leaving me both sad and lonely.

When I reached the market and saw an ATM by the entrance, I stopped, opened my wallet, and took out her bank card. An impulse rose in me, urging me to insert it and see how much was inside. It wasn't that I was broke and tempted by money. Rather, this card was the only thing of hers left on me. As the days of our separation grew longer, it had slowly become the embodiment of my longing for her. I wanted to understand it, just as I wanted to understand her. I kept telling myself over and over that, no matter what, no matter how hard things became, I could not spend this money. To do so would be a deeply shameful attitude, a sign of surrender to life.

"Anyway, I'm not spending it. I'm just holding onto it for now. Besides, it's not like this is some great secret. She already handed me the card to keep. Checking the balance shouldn't matter."

With that self-comforting thought, I put the card into the machine and pressed a few buttons with practiced ease. At last, a line of numbers appeared on the screen.

I stared at the figure in stunned silence, at a complete loss.

How could there be so much money on this card?

Had she taken the wrong card by mistake? No, that couldn't be. The password was correct. Could it be that all of her cards used the same password?

Three hundred and sixty thousand yuan!

This was truly a number I had struggled toward from the very bottom of society, a number I had never even dared to imagine. In truth, the most money I had ever personally handled was only the twenty thousand I held on the day I paid tuition... and this was three hundred and sixty thousand! It was the kind of money I would need years of singing to earn. Even if one day my voice gave out completely, I still would never make that much!

With trembling fingers, I pulled the card out and carefully tucked it back into my wallet. Perhaps this money was nothing to her, something she could do without, but for me, if I so much as lost it by accident, it would become a terrifying sum I might never repay in a lifetime!

After seeing the balance, I no longer felt like wandering outside. What it left me with was not just shock, but an endless surge of motivation. I had to start working hard right away. Someday, I too would become a wealthy man who spent money like water, with eight hundred thousand or even a million in every bank account, so that one day if she had no money, the first person she would think to turn to would be me, her boyfriend, instead of facing that shabby house and spending one summer after another without even air conditioning.

I kept trying to encourage myself. Whatever I decided to do from now on, I could no longer drift along in confusion. I had to pour in two hundred percent effort and fight for my future. Even if I ultimately could not reach the height of a family background worthy of her, I still had to be a man who had fought bravely for love!

If nothing else worked, then start a business...

That thought suddenly surfaced in my mind. But what conditions did I have to start anything on my own? No house, no equipment. What was I supposed to build a business on? A heart unafraid of being hurt and a pile of unrealistic ideas?

And yet, the more I knew it was unrealistic, the more the idea of starting a business lingered in my mind like a virus, refusing to leave. Perhaps... I should take a gamble and try?

I pulled out my phone and opened my contacts. When I saw my father's name, my finger lingered over the call button, unable to press it.

I hesitated. Had it really come to the point of having nowhere else to turn?

But if I did not make up my mind and fight one more time, time would not wait for me. In a few more years, would I still be as full of hope and fighting spirit as I am now? Who could say what the future held?

Yet no matter how hard I tried, I still could not press that bright green button, because I knew I already owed this family, owed my parents, too much. I had no right, no qualification, to seek help from them again. Back then, I had stubbornly ignored their objections and forced my own path, which led to the result I faced today. For two years, I had rarely gone home to keep them company, and I had not earned enough to send back and prove my worth. What face did I have left to borrow money or demand anything more?

With a sigh, I gave up the idea of asking my family for money. I could not bear to see my parents' tired, disappointed eyes again. Since I had once proclaimed that I would not return until I had made something of myself, I could not slap my own face by turning back now and asking for help.

Before I could even put my phone away, Sister Shiyu called again. I answered at once, and her voice came through: "Handsome, where are you? Want me to pick you up?"

"Did you buy a car, Sis?"

For a moment, Sister Shiyu seemed speechless, and only then did she say helplessly, "Sis has always had a car, okay? I just really like walking, so I hardly ever drive."

To be honest, I really hadn't known that. We had worked together for a year and known each other for nearly two, yet I had truly never seen Shiyu driving. Of course, that was partly my fault too. I used to be late for work all the time, never once arriving at the bar before Sister Shiyu, and after every performance I left very early, so naturally I had no idea how she got to and from work.

"Where are you? I'll come get you."

"Forget it, Sis. Better to walk. Strolling and chatting sounds much nicer." I made up a casual excuse.

"True. You can't feel the freshness of nature if you're driving. Happiness should come first." Sister Shiyu did not seem to think much of it and agreed with my suggestion.

"All right, where should we meet?"

"Let's eat something first. I'm hungry already, and you haven't eaten since you got up this morning either, have you?" Sister Shiyu asked with a smile.

"You're right... but how did you know that, Sis?" I found it strange. Could Sister Shiyu really see through everything so well, as if nothing could ever be hidden from her?

"You brat, do I not know you? When you got up, the sun was probably already high in the sky. With that kind of take-it-as-it-comes personality, what kind of person actually eats breakfast?"

After hearing her explanation, I could not help laughing. It seemed the clever Sister Shiyu was not actually omniscient. I had gotten up very early today, though Zhang Jiaxin had tricked me into going for breakfast, and in the end I had not eaten any breakfast at all. Instead, I had two cups of ice cream. Still, I had no intention of explaining all that to her.

"What do you feel like eating?"

"Let's have noodles. Meet at Hundred Ambushes, all right?" Shiyu thought for a moment and said.

"Okay!" I agreed and hung up. Hundred Ambushes was the name of a very good noodle shop. Its chef was especially skilled at hand-sliced noodles, and in this town of Yichun, it was quite a famous place.

I took a taxi straight there, arrived early, chose a small private room with a pleasant atmosphere, and waited for Sister Shiyu.

About fifteen minutes later, Sister Shiyu appeared in front of me as promised. She was dressed especially fresh and bright today. Different from her usual mature and beautiful style, she wore a white casual shirt and a pair of slim jeans. She looked younger and more energetic, like a college student full of youthful spirit, while the perfect lines her outfit outlined carried no shortage of allure or sensuality.

"Sis, why are you dressed up so prettily today?" I looked at Sister Shiyu in surprise. At that moment, the two of us really did look exactly like a loser sitting beside a goddess. No... not like. That was exactly what it was.

"When am I not pretty?" Shiyu said with a soft laugh.

"You're always beautiful, but I feel like today you're even more captivating."

"Is that so? Then have I captivated you?" Sister Shiyu covered her mouth and laughed lightly, her lovely eyes turning toward me, and I grew a little shy under her words, quickly nodding in admission.