Chapter 47: One Day

The rain grew heavier and heavier. Unconsciously, both Youqin and I stood up, leaning against the railing behind us. I was listening; she was gathering herself. She put down her guitar and, just like last time, habitually rolled up the wide sleeves of her black tracksuit, revealing her slender, fair forearm. Once again, I saw the colorful English tattoo that I hadn’t clearly seen before—delicate little letters inked in a vivid, artistic style, so conspicuous and beautiful.

“Someday.” I studied her forearm and softly read the word aloud.

Youqin said nothing. She pulled down her hood, letting the rain soak her long, black, silky hair. In the chill of the damp air, her face looked pale. She bowed her head and silently took up her guitar again.

As she began to strum skillfully, I hurried to focus, afraid to miss any unforgettable moment.

“In the darkness, I open my confused eyes, gentle and lovely, you seem to be right by my side.” Youqin finally began to sing, her clear voice carrying a delicate sweetness tinged with sorrow and melancholy, drawing me step by step into her mysterious inner world with a song I had never heard before.

“Now I can no longer walk forever by your side, my dear, you must smile bravely…”

“Do you remember, that early summer we wished to meet, watching you dance and sing alone by the lake? My heart, fragile as a blank sheet, blazed with longing, yet how could I dare to confess my yearning?” Her voice remained calm, as if recalling, as if recounting, and the gentle rhythm made me feel as though I was following her into that illusory world.

“In the wheat fields, I summoned the courage to come to your side, feeling the faint warmth in your palm. My heart, I don't know when, was left beside you, unforgettable; it was the most beautiful courage of my life…”

In the pouring rain, I saw a golden field of wheat, a shy boy watching from afar as a beautiful girl sang and danced. His hesitance, his timidity, kept him from taking her hand; yet she saw him too and gave him a sweet smile.

Finally, the boy mustered the courage to run over to her, standing before her, breathless, looking at her youthful, delicate face, but lowering his head in bashful silence. The soft sunlight in the wheat field shone upon them; the boy, surprised, looked at the hand the girl had taken in hers, his cheeks red as he smiled foolishly…

“All day long, I wander on this real path, overflowing emotions truly touching the heavens. I dream of spending my life with you just like this, never turning back, loving you until death and beyond…” Youqin’s voice began to blur, her delicate notes piercing my soul. Immersed in her beautiful, soothing world, I felt the purest, simplest love on earth. I couldn’t help but pray for the couple in the song, hoping they could truly be blessed and accompany each other for a lifetime.

“Someday, lying alone on a lonely bed, I’ll still miss you. Someday, when someone leaves, I’ll be afraid to see you again. Someday, when every hope turns to illusion, someday, you must learn to smile bravely on your own…”

“Someday, I won’t walk with you through the wheat fields we once shared. Someday, I’ll never see the sweetness I longed for. Someday, when every sunset turns to sorrow, someday, we’ll both be at the far ends of separation…”

“Someday, someday, carrying my thoughts, thinking of my longing, don’t linger anymore…”

Hearing this, my tears blurred my vision. In the haze, I seemed to see a boy at the other end of the bridge—shy, reserved, gentle and refined. He smiled so sweetly, just like the smile the girl once gave him.

As the music rose, then slowed, and finally faded away, I wept uncontrollably. Why, I wondered, does fate always tear lovers apart? Is it truly so hard for two devoted hearts to stay together for life? Why must those who love each other face so many hardships? So many questioning eyes, so many insincere smiles—why must a pure love be so cruelly tested?

The cold rain drenched both Youqin and me. Strands of her hair, soaked, clung to her fair forehead. She closed her eyes, long lashes trembling, her reddened eyelids slightly swollen. In the wind and rain, she looked so delicate and fragile.

A pale mist seemed to rise above the stone bridge, dreamlike and surreal. The sudden downpour finally began to ease, the oppressive sky growing a little brighter. After the rain, would the sky really clear?

“What’s the name of that song?” I took out a cigarette and put it to my lips, but couldn’t light it.

“It’s called ‘Someday.’ It was a gift from him on his last day in the hospital.” She smiled faintly, her red eyes full of sorrow. “The day he left was my birthday.”

The shock in my heart was beyond words. Could such a coincidence really exist? I didn’t know. Perhaps the boy fought death for days on end just to celebrate her last birthday with her. Perhaps he endured unimaginable pain just to spend one more day with her, see her one more time.

What kind of love was this? How much must Youqin have endured to still be able to smile? Was she fulfilling the boy’s last wish? “Now I can no longer walk forever by your side, my dear, you must smile bravely…”

“Someday, someday, carrying my thoughts, thinking of my longing, don’t linger anymore…” I murmured the last line, bitterness swelling in my chest. I could almost feel the boy’s torment and his choice. He longed for her eternal love, yet had to let her go out of love for her. Compared to such a soul-searing story, what was mine worth?

“Youqin, how long will you stay?” My feelings were in turmoil as I looked at this free-spirited yet lonely girl, unable to imagine the weight she bore.

“I don’t know.” She shook her head and handed me a lighter from her pocket.

I accepted it, lit my cigarette, hesitated, then said, “If you’re not in a hurry to leave, could you help me with something?”

She nodded, inviting me to speak.

“My sister’s bar is opening soon. I’d like to invite you to sing a song—just one—so that everyone will know there’s a soul singer like you in this vast sea of people.” My eyes pleaded with her. I had no pretense, no ulterior motive. It wasn’t about business anymore; a girl like her should never be sullied by money or fame. I only wanted more people to know that a voice could truly penetrate the soul and cleanse the spirit.

Youqin took back her lighter, looked at me without speaking, as if hesitating, as if thinking.

I waited anxiously for her answer, afraid she would refuse, afraid she would misunderstand, afraid I’d never hear such moving music again.

“All right.” She finally nodded and smiled at me.

Hearing her answer, my heart felt as if it would leap from my chest. A flood of chaotic emotions rushed through my mind. I wanted to smile but couldn’t. I had been lost in her song, cleansed by her story, and finally redeemed by her smile—yet still I couldn’t be as free as she was.

“Th-thank you…”

Youqin carefully put the lighter back in her rain-soaked pocket and shook her head. “The one who should thank you is me. Thank you for listening. I feel much better now.”

I nodded. She looked up at the rain, now almost stopped, and continued, “In this vast sea of people, I’ve followed his steps, his guidance, from city to city. Along the way, I’ve felt irritation and anxiety, warmth and deep emotion, but all of it was a new understanding—a kind of insight into life and love. Perhaps that’s what he wanted to tell me. I keep searching and losing, without any real purpose.”

“Have you found the answer you’re looking for?” I asked after a moment’s thought.

“When I find it, maybe that’ll be the time I make my choice.” She took a deep breath, turned to me, and said, “I’m glad I met you again. I’m heading back now. Let’s exchange contacts. See you at the bar’s opening.”

I nodded and exchanged phone numbers with her. She slung her black guitar over her shoulder and walked slowly toward the other end of the bridge.

Watching her gradually fading figure, my heart, too, grew calm—a stillness that comes after an outpouring of emotions, when nothing else stirs. The strength she displayed was something I’d never witnessed before. The heavens had been so unkind, forcing such heavy pain into her small heart.

We’d met only twice, but I still didn’t know her name. Maybe that was for the best. Time may age us, but song can make us immortal. Perhaps, even now, she’s still with the boy who loved her, somewhere, together.

I picked up my guitar, ready to leave. After being soaked by this rain, my whole body felt cold and heavy, yet I was grateful I’d come out today, grateful not to have missed such a cleansing of the soul.

Looking at the rain-blurred words on the guitar, I sighed softly. Life is, after all, a story of joys and sorrows, of meetings and partings. Why torment myself with countless obsessions?

With the heavy guitar on my back, I walked home. Someday, perhaps I, too, will meet a girl I truly love. Someday, perhaps I’ll leave behind unforgettable sorrow. But before then, I will give her the best of me, then hold her gently, turn, and let go.