Chapter Eleven: Setting Out to Roam

After I finished the phone call, I didn’t return to the ward right away. For some reason, a sudden urge to smoke overcame me, even though I’d nearly quit for half a year now. Was it the stress of life? I didn’t think so… I always considered myself someone who went with the flow—at least, that’s how I liked to describe myself.

Once the thought of smoking arises, it’s nearly impossible to shake off. The more I don’t have one, the more I crave it. I was starting to wonder if my addiction had relapsed—could that even happen?

Sister Shi Yu never smoked, and she disliked smokers. An Ye, that kid, had quit for a while too. Surely, he wouldn’t be hiding any contraband now… Lost in these thoughts, I wandered the hospital corridor and, almost without realizing it, found myself back at the ward door. There sat Luo Qing, still on the bench, quietly watching me.

The awkwardness that had just faded instantly returned, making me feel uneasy. I coughed lightly and asked, “Um… do you have a cigarette?”

To my surprise, Luo Qing nodded and asked softly, “Will a lady’s cigarette do?”

I nodded, accepting the slim cigarette she handed me, borrowing her lighter as well. I lit up and headed for the restroom—smoking was forbidden in the hospital, and if caught, it’d be a lot more trouble than just being told to put it out.

I hurried into the men’s room, taking hard drags from the mild cigarette. I heard movement behind me and thought, Oh no, I’ve been caught!

Turning around, I jumped—Luo Qing stood right behind me, gazing at me with that inscrutable look in her eyes.

“Why did you follow me in… this is…” I glanced at the blue figure on the sign at the door to double-check, “the men’s room!”

Luo Qing always seemed to ignore what I said. She stepped closer to me.

“Stop!” I blurted, instinctively taking a step back.

“Why did you take the beating for me?” Luo Qing’s eyes fixed on mine, demanding an answer.

“No reason.” Honestly, if she asked for my reason, I truly didn’t have one. It was just instinct.

“Are we even that close? Did I ask you to help me?” Luo Qing’s voice rose, her emotions clearly agitated.

“Just take it as payback for the hamburger you bought me. Don’t ask any more. I’ve made myself clear; don’t feel any burden. We’re even now.” I made up a random excuse, not understanding why she was so persistent.

“Fine, you said it.” At this, a hint of softness finally eased her stern expression.

“This cigarette can count as interest; I won’t return it… You look exhausted. Go get some rest.” I took another deep drag.

Luo Qing nodded and turned to leave.

“Oh, one more thing,” I called after her.

She turned, puzzled.

“Be careful when you go out from now on…”

Luo Qing didn’t reply, as if she’d switched back to ignoring me. I waved her off, signaling she could go. After a long moment, she finally turned around, murmuring almost inaudibly, “Got it.”

After Luo Qing left, I ran the cigarette butt under the tap, extinguishing it, and walked out of the restroom, ready to return to the ward. Just then, Zhao Kewen came walking toward me.

“Sis…” I greeted her sheepishly.

“Let me see—goodness, who did this to you? They really went too far!” She hurried over and circled me, examining my injuries as though appraising a piece of art rather than checking on me.

“Who did this? Tell me! I swear, if I don’t knock out all their teeth, I’m not Zhao Kewen!” she demanded, furious.

“Uh… I really don’t know…” I admitted honestly.

“Seriously? Did they hit you so hard you forgot? You look like this, and you don’t know who did it?”

“Please, sis, let it go. I truly don’t know. This is just how things are,” I replied helplessly.

She sighed and muttered, “Unbelievable,” before pulling a thick stack of cash from her purse and handing it to me.

“Sis… I really don’t need that much—two bills would be enough!” I protested, seeing that the wad was at least fifteen hundred. After all, our relationship was only nominally that of siblings. There was no reason for me to accept so much, especially since I couldn’t pay it back anytime soon.

I tried every excuse I could think of to refuse the money. In the end, Zhao Kewen, unable to argue further, pulled out five bills and pressed them into my hand. “If you refuse these five hundred, I’ll never speak to you again.” With no choice, I borrowed an extra three hundred to cover living expenses.

She accompanied me back to the ward. I planned to pack up and go home to get some real sleep—there was work to do that night, after all.

When I entered, I told Sister Shi Yu I wanted to rest at home. She hesitated, then agreed.

Shi Yu frowned when she saw Zhao Kewen with me but said nothing. Noticing the tension, I decided not to introduce them. I had no idea why these two beautiful women, upon meeting, instantly seemed to dislike each other. Perhaps the old saying was true: beautiful women are destined to be rivals.

When I mentioned my plan to sing that night, Shi Yu’s expression darkened, though she didn’t say why. She insisted I go home and rest until I was fully recovered.

But I knew my own circumstances. Without the nightly singing income, I’d struggle to get by. Even if I stayed home, I wouldn’t be able to relax—I’d be anxious and irritable every day.

I pressed my case, but she was adamant. Her determination made me uneasy; Shi Yu had never been so insistent before. Something was wrong.

“Sister Shi… Don’t tell me…” I started to guess—perhaps Blooming Flowers Bar had fired me. That was the only explanation. I looked at her, hoping for a denial, for her to tell me I was overthinking it.

But she said nothing. The usually gentle, candid Shi Yu simply bowed her head.

I forced a smile, walked over, and said quietly, “Don’t be upset. It’s not your fault. You’ll always be my Sister Shi… Don’t be sad. When you’re bored, I’ll still come by to do a guest spot now and then!”

Behind me, Zhao Kewen seemed uninterested in our conversation, playing on her phone, occasionally smiling sweetly at something on the screen.

“I couldn’t do this forever anyway, right? Eventually, I’ll have to move on and work for my own future!” I comforted Shi Yu, who remained silent, as though she were the one dismissed, not me.

Though I spoke noble words, only I knew the frustration and helplessness I felt. From now on, I’d have to scramble just to survive. For now, all I could do was take whatever work came my way—anything, as long as it paid. Until I found something steady, I’d be drifting, a wanderer.