Chapter Four: Never Going Back

Seeing Zhang Jiaxin vomit all over me, Liu Xiaoxiao hurried over and helped her up, settling her in a chair nearby. At this point, it seemed the alcohol had fully taken hold of Zhang Jiaxin; she leaned obediently against the chair, her head tilted, and soon drifted off to sleep again.

I quickly stood up and headed toward the restroom inside the barbecue restaurant. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed An Ye clearly catching sight of my predicament, and now he was doubled over with laughter, clutching his stomach, pointing at me again and again.

My senior sister merely frowned slightly at Zhang Jiaxin, who had just thrown up on me, then turned away and began eating the freshly served barbecue as though nothing had happened.

I just wet a napkin and wiped at my clothes as best I could before coming back out. My appetite for barbecue was gone; I might as well call it a night and go home to wash these clothes.

“That girl, honestly, this was really embarrassing,” Liu Xiaoxiao said, glancing awkwardly at the obvious marks on me.

“She rarely drinks, you know,” I said, watching Zhang Jiaxin sleep, unsure why I blurted out, “Why did you two come out to drink anyway, and get so drunk? It’s late at night—two girls out by themselves, it’s dangerous.”

Liu Xiaoxiao spread her hands, explaining, “I didn’t want to, but Jiaxin insisted on dragging me out. I couldn’t refuse her…”

Back in college, whenever I was upset, Zhang Jiaxin would drink with me, though she usually never touched alcohol. Because of that, before she became my girlfriend, she was, besides An Ye, my best “buddy.”

Looking at her lovely, beautiful cheeks, reddened from the wine like a little apple, I was suddenly seized by the urge to reach out and touch her face.

A sudden cough made me jerk my hand back in alarm.

I hadn’t noticed when An Ye had come up behind me. He grinned mischievously, “Well, well, Master Yang, planning to take advantage of a drunken student?”

“Zhang Jiaxin is Yang’s girlfriend—it’s not taking advantage,” Liu Xiaoxiao jumped in to defend me.

I had to admit, An Ye’s timely appearance reminded me of reality: we had already parted ways. Now she was only a passerby in my life, our chapter closed, never to return. There was no reason for me to get caught up again.

“Sorry, I’m not her boyfriend. I definitely lost my head just now—please, Lord An, feel free to punish me,” I replied half-jokingly.

Liu Xiaoxiao cast me an awkward glance, then shot An Ye a glare. She and An Ye had met only a few times, not really close—he was my good friend, she was Zhang Jiaxin’s bestie, and we had all shared a meal together once.

“Xiaoxiao, call a cab and take her home. Make sure to look after her,” I said, standing and heading to the curb.

Liu Xiaoxiao seemed like she wanted to say something but kept silent. She headed to the counter to pay, then returned and carefully helped Zhang Jiaxin out to the street.

A taxi soon pulled up, and luckily, the driver was a woman. I quickly opened the back door, and together we settled Zhang Jiaxin inside. I gave the driver an extra twenty yuan and urged her to drive safely and not too fast.

“Call me when you arrive,” I told Liu Xiaoxiao.

“Are you still using the same number?”

“Yes, I haven’t changed it.”

“All right, Yang, I’ll get Jiaxin back to the dorm,” she said, waving before signaling the driver.

Zhang Jiaxin was a year younger than me, just starting her senior year. Because of her school’s rules, she usually had to return to the dorm at night.

I memorized the taxi’s license plate, just in case. In today’s world, you never know. The two of them weren’t exactly streetwise; I felt responsible for their safety.

Only when the car disappeared from sight did I turn back toward my senior sister and An Ye.

“Well, did you fall into a vat of wine? You reek of booze,” An Ye teased me with a laugh.

I waved him off and sat down beside him. His words made me realize just how bad I smelled; on purpose, I kept a little distance from my senior sister, not wanting to make her uncomfortable.

But she seemed to notice, stood up with her tall, graceful figure, pulled up a chair right next to me, and smiled, “Don’t treat me like I’m so delicate, all right?”

I stuck out my tongue in embarrassment. Hearing her words, I relaxed a little. Seeing the wings and skewers left for me on the table, I picked them up and ate without hesitation.

My senior sister watched me quietly as I wolfed down the food, her eyes bright and beautiful. The more I ate, the redder my face became, until I went from devouring the food to eating in small, careful bites.

She seemed to notice my change and deliberately looked away.

That night, my heart was a swirl of emotions—loss, warmth, bitterness, melancholy. In the end, frustration won out. Even with my senior sister and An Ye there, I couldn’t summon any real happiness, though the night should have filled me with joy.

After I finished, An Ye paid the bill before my senior sister could.

We stepped out of the barbecue place, ready for a good rest. It was already eleven. By my usual schedule, tonight was a rare early night; normally, I’d get home at one at the earliest.

Because my clothes were a mess and An Ye couldn’t stand the sight—or smell—of me, he urged me to take a cab back to my apartment while he took my senior sister home.

I nodded. I was suffering enough as it was.

After waving goodbye, I quickly flagged down a cab. The driver immediately assumed I was drunk and warned me several times that vomiting in his car would cost extra.

I paid and got out. The driver even checked the seat, hoping to make a bit more money. I found his attitude tiresome, but in this day and age, who could blame him?

I hurried up to the second floor, burst into my room, tore off my shirt, kicked off my pants, threw everything in the basin, and rushed to the bathroom to wash up.

As I thought of Zhang Jiaxin’s adorable face and her familiar tone, my heart felt like a bottle of mixed flavors had been overturned. I couldn’t tell what I felt—maybe, in a past life, I really did owe her something.