Chapter 67: The Listener

Qin Xiaomo and I exchanged helpless glances in silence. After a few minutes, the ward door was gently pushed open. Su Xuefei lowered her head and walked in slowly, closing the door behind her with her hands clasped behind her back, avoiding my gaze.

"Feifei," Qin Xiaomo walked over, took the goddess Su's hand, and led her to my bedside. "Don't put too much pressure on yourself."

"Yang Chen, how did this happen?"

Watching tears drip down onto the pristine white bedsheets from the goddess Su's eyes, her choked voice pierced my heart with a pang of sorrow. I wanted to raise my hand to wipe away her tears, but my trembling hand lacked the strength to lift to that height.

In truth, without Su Xuefei having to ask, I knew why I had ended up in this state. I still retained vague memories of falling into the pond—there had been no one around. Even if someone had discovered me in the water immediately and reached out to help, precious time would have inevitably been lost. In other words, the loss of my vocal function wasn't due to an actual throat injury, but rather brain damage caused by prolonged oxygen deprivation.

"Wah—" Su Xuefei suddenly collapsed onto my chest, burying her face and weeping bitterly. Although both Qin Xiaomo and I had repeatedly told her that this matter had nothing to do with her, for some reason she simply refused to listen. Sometimes, I felt that while Su Xuefei was usually docile and obedient, deep down she possessed an astonishing stubbornness; once she set her mind on something, it was nearly impossible to change it.

Checking the time on my phone, I found that my body had regained a bit of strength, allowing me to barely sit up and lean against the head of the bed. Looking at Su Xuefei's somewhat blurred eyes, I reached out to gently stroke her cheek, then typed on my screen: "I am no longer worthy of you. Please give up on me, return to your city, and resume your original life."

Su Xuefei took the phone, stared at the screen, and shook her head vehemently. She then stood up and said to Qin Xiaomo, "Xiaomo, you should go back first. I want to stay and keep Yang Chen company alone."

Qin Xiaomo cast a conflicted look at me before nodding at Su Xuefei. However, I beckoned Qin Xiaomo over and typed a few lines on my phone for her to read. She nodded immediately, put on her coat, and left.

"Yang Chen, are you hungry?" Su Xuefei asked quietly, sitting by my side.

I shook my head with effort. Sensing my physical discomfort, Su Xuefei pulled the blanket up higher for me and said gently, "I'm going outside to make a call. Wait for me."

Lying alone in the hospital bed, I still couldn't comprehend what had happened to me back then. Could my inner self have been so fragile, driven to a state bordering on obsession? Had I been crushed for too long by the pressures weighing upon me? I could find no answers, nor did I know how to walk the path ahead. Was I destined to remain unable to speak for the rest of my life? Would I turn into a deaf-mute from now on?

If that were the case, my life would truly be over. Back home, my parents were waiting for me to return, and my relatives were expecting me to work, but here I was, disabled. I had failed the grace and upbringing my elderly parents had poured into me all these years.

At this thought, a sourness rose in my nose, and tears streamed uncontrollably from my eyes. I feared neither injury nor death, but I dreaded living on as a disappointment burdened by so many shattered hopes.

"What's wrong?" Su Xuefei gently pushed open the door at some point, caught sight of my appearance, and hurried over to ask.

"It's okay, don't be afraid. In a moment, I'll contact the hospital and we'll transfer to Beijing. I've found a specialist there who treats minor brain tissue damage; everything will definitely be fine." Having said this, Su Xuefei suddenly covered her mouth, looking at me with a hint of frightened realization, as if she had accidentally let slip something she shouldn't have.

I raised a hand to wipe the corners of my eyes and shook my head.

Picking up my phone, I typed: "Feifei, I don't want to keep lying here. I want to go out for a walk."

***

The goddess Su looked in silence at the wish I had typed on the phone. I saw the hesitation in her eyes and sighed, struggling to turn onto my side and attempt to get out of bed.

"Alright, I'll go handle the discharge procedures." Sensing my determination, Su Xuefei nodded and helped me up to get dressed.

With the goddess Su supporting me, I walked out of the hospital gates into the desolate streets beneath a pitch-black sky. A desolate chill swept through my heart as I watched my life—from I knew not when—transform into this miserable shape, veering completely away from everything I had hoped for. I had only just found a dream to build and expand my cold drink shop, and in the blink of an eye, I had lost the ability to converse with others.

Draped in winter clothing, my movements were nonetheless clumsy. My shadow beneath the streetlamp wavered unsteadily, twisting like a drunkard or someone who had utterly lost hope in life.

"Yang Chen, come with me to Beijing tomorrow." Su Xuefei supported me as we took small steps over the soft white snow on the ground, gazing at me with an intensely earnest expression.

I stopped in my tracks, lifting my head to gaze at the hazy, yellowish-amber moon and the bright, fluttering white snowflakes made more brilliant by its reflection. I smiled and shook my head.

"Why do you have to be so stubborn?" Su Xuefei pulled me closer against her body, lowering her head into silence.

I gently pinched her shoulder. Caught between confusion and a flicker of surprise, she looked up at me. I parted my lips, mimicking mouth movements from memory, but failed to utter a single sound. Yet, as she watched my lips, Su Xuefei suddenly smiled, nodded, and said, "I understand."

I didn't know whether Su Xuefei truly grasped my meaning—perhaps she understood, perhaps she didn't. But at that moment, it didn't seem to matter very much.

"Yang Chen, do you know why I've stayed by your side all this time and refused to leave?" Su Xuefei asked, supporting me as we walked slowly forward.

I shook my head.

"Because I like you, you dummy!" Su Xuefei giggled softly after saying this. Her crisp, clear laughter rang out in the quiet street. I stared at her in a daze; it seemed I had never before witnessed the goddess Su laughing with such unadulterated joy.

Even so, I was rather speechless at her answer. What kind of reason was that? This wasn't a riddle.

"Actually, I've liked you ever since high school, only you never knew," Su Xuefei smiled and continued, "Back then, I was very insecure and had no idea how to interact with others. You were the first person who pursued me so proactively, and more importantly, you brought me so much warmth."

Throughout high school, I had spent virtually all my available time trying to win over Su Xuefei, emptying every penny I had. Although I was cynical back then and acted like a delinquent on the surface, deep down I genuinely yearned for a pure romance born of my own hard work and mutual devotion.

"Yang Chen, I was timid and never dared to say anything to express my inner thoughts in front of you. But I kept that feeling locked in my heart, and it wasn't until graduation that I dared to actively search for your figure and try to pursue you." Su Xuefei blushed slightly as she spoke, though now that I was merely a participant and listener, her courage seemed to be slowly growing.

"When I first arrived in Yichun, it was actually the moment I summoned all my courage to walk into your cold drink shop, sit before you, and say those seemingly joking words. But you know what? When I saw the unfamiliarity in your eyes, I suddenly felt a sorrow I had never experienced before. I kept wondering if my presence was superfluous and just too humiliating."

I nodded slightly. At the time, I genuinely hadn't recognized that the great beauty before me was my high school goddess Su. I hadn't even entertained that possibility, which meant my own expression had betrayed me.

***

"Later on, when we walked down Yuanyiqi Road, I resolved myself once again that I couldn't back down, or I would lose the person I loved, wouldn't I?" Su Xuefei squeezed my arm tighter. "And then later, I went to your house and met your uncle and aunt. What made me so happy was that they both liked me. You know what? For the first few nights, I suffered from insomnia—not because I couldn't adapt to the new environment, but because my heart was simply overflowing with joy."

Listening to the goddess Su speak almost as if to herself, I smiled and nodded. Those few days had been utterly exhausting for me as well, and I hadn't rested much either. Yet I had never imagined that beneath such a seemingly simple life, the goddess Su's inner world had been so tangled and complex.

"That happiness lasted until we returned to Yichun. Although you didn't let me visit your ex-girlfriend in the hospital, I understood, because from the tone of your phone calls and the look in your eyes when reading messages, I could sense the intense love you had for her. That made me a bit sad. Whenever I had a free moment, I would wonder, when would you ever love me like that?"

"If possible, I truly wish I could stop being such a cowardly version of myself, strive to express my feelings, and leave all regrets to yesterday." Su Xuefei seemed to recall earlier events, her voice choking slightly. "But I'm sorry, Yang Chen. If I hadn't acted that way to hurt you on that day, you wouldn't have—"

I took out my phone, stopped walking, and typed. Then, grinning broadly, I held it up for her to see: "You have always been wonderful, from the past until now. Come on, smile!"

Su Xuefei looked at the message, then up at me. Finally, her tears broke into a smile, and she threw her arms around me. "Yang Chen, I like you. I really, truly like you."

Reaching out to embrace the goddess Su's slender, graceful figure, I felt the drifting snowflakes settle upon her currently disheveled hair, while my heart grew profoundly warm.

"Give me a chance, won't you?"

Trembling, I held her tightly in my arms, yet unable to voice a single word, I could only remain silent.

"Give me a chance to love you, okay?"

A vision of Luo Qing flashed through my mind, but that figure gradually faded into obscurity. I kept asking myself what on earth I was still waiting for. Perhaps she had long since let go and started a new chapter of her life, while I—what was I still doing? Luo Qing was gone; I had hurt her, and now, was I going to hurt someone else?

I gently pushed Su Xuefei away, picked up my phone, and prepared to type when Su Xuefei caught my hand to stop me. "Just one chance, okay?"

I stared blankly at her gesture, gently pushed Su Xuefei's hand aside, and hesitated for a long time before finally typing:

"Okay."

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