Chapter Thirty-Eight: Let the Chaos Begin

I walked to the heater and opened the window. Listening to the whistling cold wind and gazing at the clear night sky, I felt a wave of sentimentality. Perhaps this is Su Xuefei’s outlook on life: there are few true soulmates in this world, and each one is to be cherished as dearly as life itself. I felt fortunate to have been singled out by her, though I didn't know what talents I possessed or what I had done to deserve such a connection. Sometimes, human relationships are just like that—like stars in the sky, distant and remote, yet suddenly connecting to form a constellation. Perhaps this is the fate of stars, and the fate of people.

"Yang Chen, are you still worrying about her?" Su Xuefei leaned against me and asked in a low voice.

"Worrying about whom?"

"Naonao. After all, you two used to be so close, yet such an unpleasant thing happened today." Su Xuefei closed her eyes, her soft body radiating warmth, which I found quite comforting.

"Actually, Naonao is a kind-hearted girl at her core. It’s just that her inherent kindness makes her susceptible to the influence of her surroundings, eventually turning her into someone unrecognizable." I recalled the days we spent laughing and playing, and a smile tugged at the corners of my mouth. "Although I find it hard to accept her current choices—or rather, I believe those friends of hers are nothing but bad company—what can I do? It is her life, and she must make her own choices."

Su Xuefei nodded drowsily, then tilted her head and rested it on my shoulder again. It was clear that she wasn't truly suffering from insomnia; she simply wanted someone to talk to.

This was a heartwarming side of her. Perhaps when you are bullied or heartbroken, she might not always be able to help, but when you truly feel regret or are on the verge of losing your way, she is always there by your side, quietly dispelling your resentment toward life and your bitterness toward others. Perhaps this is what they call unconditional love, even if, at times, it is incredibly maddening.

"Are you sleepy, kid? Go back to your room and sleep."

"Mmm..." I couldn't tell if she was fully awake or not. She just shook her head, slumped over onto my bed, and curled up with the blanket, looking far too lazy to move.

"Don't do this... If you sleep here, I really have nowhere to go!" I gently tugged at her arm; the smoothness of her skin made my heart race.

Su Xuefei seemed exhausted. She opened her eyes just a slit to look at me and mumbled, "Just sleep here. It’s fine, I trust you."

Sister... this isn't about whether you trust me or not. We're a man and a woman alone in the middle of the night; if I sleep next to you, I don't even trust myself! If I lost control, your pure and pristine self would be ruined. Never mind how you might curse me; I would despise myself. It is precisely because you are so unreachable in my heart that I feel so unworthy.

"Go back to sleep, be a good girl." Helpless, I tried to coax her. Without waiting for her consent, I opened the door, scooped her up in my arms, and carried her out. She didn't resist. I carried her to the door of the room she shared with Xiaoya, but as I struggled to open the door, I froze. My mother was already inside, fast asleep with Xiaoya in her arms.

With no other choice, I had to carry the goddess back to my bed and lay her down. I then walked to my parents' room and gently opened the door. My father was splayed out like a starfish on the bed, occupying almost every inch of the small wooden frame. I sighed and shook my head. This had to be intentional, right? Were they trying to kill me?

I suspected Su Xuefei had also come to my room to talk because she had nowhere else to go. Being squeezed out, she had no choice but to lie on my bed.

"Goddess Su, you really don't mind sharing a bed with me?"

Su Xuefei didn't answer. She simply shifted slightly to make room for me. Everything was understood without words.

I sat on the edge of the bed, thinking to myself: *Yang Chen, if you’re a man, sleep on the floor!*

I gave a dry laugh and told myself: *I'm not an idiot. Sleeping on the floor in the middle of winter will only lead to me getting sick, and who pays for that? I’d only be hurting myself! Besides, I’m a mature man; surely I can control myself?* I kept cheering myself on, telling myself that Goddess Su was my goddess and I must absolutely not act rashly.

"I can hold back!" I took a deep breath, lifted the blanket, and climbed in. I pressed myself as far to the edge of the bed as possible, terrified of crossing the line.

"Don't turn over, don't turn over..." I chanted to myself like a spell, lying as stiff as a mummy, afraid to move a muscle.

I closed my eyes and breathed heavily. Aside from Zhang Jiaxin, she was the first woman I had ever been this close to. Even though she was fast asleep, I was wide awake—this was pure torture!

Lying beside me was a sexy, pure, and super beautiful woman, her delicate, smooth body curled up next to me. I could touch her with just the slightest movement! But I had to hold on. This was no longer just about sleeping; this was a battle to test my resistance to female temptation!

All I had to do was fall asleep quickly. Once asleep, it would be fine—no distractions, form is emptiness, emptiness is form.

I lay there for a while, but my mind wouldn't quiet down. Every time I closed my eyes, I was filled with images of Su Xuefei’s smooth, delicate back, her sexy, slender legs, and her soft, alluring voice. As I thought about these things, I suddenly felt a wave of heat, and my body actually reacted!

Just as I was at a loss for what to do, Su Xuefei suddenly turned over and pressed against me. Perhaps she was triggered by my abnormal reaction; I heard her give a soft, shy sound, and then she slowly opened her eyes to look at me from close range, whispering, "Yang Chen... your belt is too hard... it's digging into me, I can't sleep..."

"That's it! If this continues, the goddess will be ruined by me!" I shouted internally, pushed the dazed Su Xuefei away, scrambled out from under the covers, and ran to the kitchen. I turned on the faucet and splashed water onto my face.

I panted heavily, reminding myself over and over that what I had almost done was beastly—no, worse than an animal!

"I'd rather not sleep at all; if this keeps up, something will happen." I whispered to myself, then went to the bathroom, wiped the water from my face with a towel, and returned to the room.

I gently pushed the door open. Su Xuefei seemed to have been fully awakened by my shove. She rubbed her hazy eyes with her fair, delicate hands and, hearing me, looked up and asked softly, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing..." Hearing her tone, I realized she hadn't been fully awake and didn't know what had happened. I let out a long breath—a lucky escape. If she knew how awkward that moment had been, let alone how ashamed I felt, she would have wanted to die of embarrassment.

"Where are we going to play tomorrow?"

"Anywhere is fine."

Su Xuefei yawned and leaned against the wall. I could clearly see her eyelids struggling to stay open.

"Feifei..."

"Hmm?"

"Go to sleep early." I walked over, gently gathered her into my arms, tucked her into bed, and whispered, "If you don't sleep well, I won't take you out tomorrow."

"Okay, I'm sleeping then. You sleep too." With that, the goddess lay back down and was soon back in dreamland.

I pulled a cigarette from the pocket of the clothes on the table, tucked her back in with the blanket I had pushed aside earlier, and walked to the window to light it.

Watching the smoke drift out into the night, I felt relieved. It was fortunate she had been in a daze; otherwise, it would have been truly awkward. My parents were unbelievable. If this continued, it wouldn't just be a matter of days before something went wrong. After all, Su Xuefei’s charm was simply too much for a loser like me to resist. One wrong move, and I’d be in trouble!

As I pondered, I couldn't help but recall the sensation of our brief contact. I wasn't intentionally dwelling on it, but it clung to my thoughts and body like a virus, impossible to forget.

"Damn it, I can't stay here. I need to go for a walk." I stubbed out the cigarette and tossed it out the window. My emotions were still unstable; if Su Xuefei provoked me again, I might turn into a beast. This wasn't a joke—one misstep could lead to eternal regret. If I slipped up, she would hate me for the rest of her life.

I carefully pulled on my pants and headed for the door, but before I could leave, Su Xuefei’s voice drifted to my ears: "Where are you going?"

"Going for a stroll, I can't sleep."

"Is it because of me?"

"What nonsense are you talking about!" I walked back to the bed, looked into her watery eyes, tapped her nose, and whispered, "Be a good girl and sleep, or you won't have the energy tomorrow."

"Yang Chen, don't go out, I'm scared..."

"Don't be afraid, there are so many people in the house to keep you company. Besides, I'm not going far, just walking a couple of laps outside."

"Then I'll go with you." Su Xuefei pushed herself up, put on her slippers, and was about to go back to her room to get some clothes.

I sighed internally. Oh, Goddess Su, you really have no idea how lethal you are. It’s fine under normal circumstances, but sharing a room at night is an absolute explosion of damage to me.

"Never mind that, it's cold, don't catch a cold." I quickly grabbed her hand, pulled her back, and tucked her under the covers. "Just sleep well, I won't go out."

"And you?"

"I won't go out either."

"Mmm." Hearing my promise, Su Xuefei obediently crawled back under the covers but kept her eyes fixed on me, refusing to close them.

"Sleep now. I won't run off. Besides, this is my house; I can run away from the monk, but I can't move the temple!" I spread my hands and smiled.

"Hehe, that's true. You can't escape from my palm!" Su Xuefei reached out, waved her hand at me, and then clenched it into a small fist.

I covered my forehead, speechless. Tomorrow morning, I really need to have a serious talk with my mother. What is all this? If things get stirred up like this a few more times, I’ll probably be dead before I even find a new job.