Chapter 5

Neither the husband nor the wife possessed a gentle temperament. Jingxi did not fear Xie Xiu, and Xie Xiu never yielded to her; since their marriage, they had been no strangers to squabbles. The spat they had today was merely a minor skirmish. No one took it to heart. After being snapped at by Xie Xiu, Jingxi felt out of sorts, ate a few bites, and went back to rest.

After the meal, Xie Linxu set off for his duties at the government office, and Song Xingyue prepared to return to the Qinghe Courtyard. However, she had not walked far before someone called her back, saying that Jingxi had something to discuss with her. Song Xingyue had no choice but to turn around.

When she returned to the Rongming Hall, Xie Linfu and Huang Xiangtang had already departed. Xie Jinfei remained, sitting with Jingxi and whispering about something. Upon seeing Song Xingyue enter, she swept her eyes over her from head to toe and fell silent.

Song Xingyue curtsied to Jingxi and asked, "Mother, is there something else you require?"

Jingxi replied, "Did you hear what your father said this morning? He told me to go consult the Old Madame, but I will not go. The root of this matter does not lie with me, and I have no desire to invite contempt. You go yourself; ask the Old Madame whether she intends to attend the Li family’s birthday banquet."

What if the Old Madame still held a grudge over past events? Would she not be met with cold glares? Furthermore, in this sweltering heat, walking from Rongming Hall to Chongde Hall would be exhausting. After a moment of thought, she decided that sending Song Xingyue to run the errand was the most fitting choice.

Song Xingyue did not have much of an impression of the Xie family’s matriarch; the Old Madame lived in seclusion, and in the past two years, the number of times they had met could be counted on one hand. Hearing Jingxi’s command, she was not surprised. Since she could not refuse, she agreed with a polite nod.

As she turned to leave, she heard Xie Jinfei whispering behind her back. "Going there will only make her a nuisance. I don't know what Father is thinking; won't Miss Li be heartbroken when she sees her? And Brother is just as bad—he should have stopped this instead of dragging her along to make a spectacle of herself."

Jingxi said, "Enough. Talk about her if you must, but leave your eldest brother out of it..."

Song Xingyue could not bear to listen any longer and walked away. Chongde Hall was quite a distance away, and by the time she arrived, her forehead was damp with sweat. The fabrics Jingxi chose for her clothes were never light or airy. They were bearable indoors, but after walking in the heat, she felt suffocated.

Danping, seeing her drenched in sweat, understood the situation. As she fanned her, she complained, "The Princess is truly heartless. In this summer heat, it would have been much easier to send a nanny. She insists on tormenting you like this, Miss."

If a nanny were sent, she would likely be considered more valuable and harder to command than Song Xingyue.

Song Xingyue soothed her, "Don't be angry. We are almost there; when we return, we shall slice a melon to cool off. Besides, it is only proper for a granddaughter-in-law to visit her grandmother. There is nothing to be upset about."

As they spoke, they arrived at Chongde Hall and fell silent. After explaining their purpose to the maids at the gate and waiting for a message to be relayed, they were finally ushered inside.

The Old Madame was a devout follower of Buddhism and had spent these years immersed in the practice. Upon entering, one could smell the lingering scent of sandalwood. In the hall stood a long table with an incense burner, where a statue of Guanyin Bodhisattva was enshrined. The Old Madame had just finished her morning meal and intended to pray; hearing of the visitor, she set aside her plans and waited in the inner room.

The Xie Old Madame was not yet sixty, her hair already thick and white, and her forehead lined with wrinkles. Though her face appeared withered and aged, her eyes retained a glimmer of clarity.

Song Xingyue bowed, saying, "May the grandmother be blessed."

The Old Madame looked at her and gestured toward a nearby chair. "Sit."

Song Xingyue did not decline. After the long walk, she was parched, yet she dared not make a fuss. She stated her purpose directly: "I have come to disturb you today regarding the birthday of the Elder Tutor Li. In half a month, it will be his sixtieth birthday. Father sent me to ask if you wish to pay your respects in person..."

Song Xingyue felt uncertain speaking to the Old Madame about this. Of all the people in the Xie household, if anyone was closest to the Li family, it was Xie Linxu, not her. Coming to ask this felt like intentionally causing distress. But she dared not disobey Jingxi.

Perhaps because of her age and thin frame, the Old Madame looked stern, filling Song Xingyue with a vague sense of dread. She feared a sharp rebuke. Yet, contrary to her expectations, the Old Madame spoke without any of the bitterness she had anticipated.

"I will not go. I am old now and have no interest in joining the festivities. You young ones can go on my behalf."

Song Xingyue had met the Old Madame several times, but they had rarely exchanged more than a few words. She was surprised to find the Old Madame less severe than she imagined. "Then, Grandmother, is there any message you would like to send to the Elder Tutor? I can tell Changzhou to convey it for you."

The Old Madame pursed her thin, withered lips. "Just convey my congratulations; that will suffice."

She looked Song Xingyue up and down, noticing her flushed face and sweat-dampened brow. "Drink some tea to cool yourself."

In the past two years, Song Xingyue was always the one sent on errands, and she had seen her more often than the other members of the Xie family. Song Xingyue, truly thirsty, drank the tea.

Mentioning the Li family made the Old Madame sigh. "The two children were not fated to be husband and wife. I do not blame them; it was simply a lack of destiny. The Li family is reasonable and has not held a grudge against the Xie family, which is our good fortune. I never blamed you for what happened back then. If anyone is to be blamed, it is Changzhou for his lack of self-control, and Jingxi for her difficult temper. You know the hardships you have faced since marrying in."

Marriage is decreed by heaven; human effort is often in vain. After all the turmoil, the current outcome was merely a source of mockery.

Hearing these words, Song Xingyue felt an inexplicable ache in her heart. The Old Madame’s words were too honest, piercing straight to the soul. She lowered her head and whispered, "That matter... it was my fault, not Changzhou's."

The Old Madame did not dwell on it. She looked at Song Xingyue again. "Two years, and you still have no decent clothes. You are so young; why do you always dress in such an aged, drab manner?"

In the past two years, she had visited Chongde Hall occasionally, and each time, it was the same. Had the Xie family fallen so low that they could not afford decent clothes for their daughter-in-law?

Perhaps it was fate. The matter she had brought up to Xie Linxu that morning was now being echoed by the Old Madame. Even the Old Madame could see her plight, yet the man who shared her bed every night remained oblivious. Song Xingyue’s nose stung, and her eyes grew red. "It is fine, Grandmother. Clothes are meant to be worn, that is all."

The Old Madame frowned. "Are you taking advantage of your youth to treat yourself poorly? If you go to the Li family dressed like this, will people not gossip?"

She was young; anything she wore would look elegant and beautiful. Yet, when visiting others, one must dress with proper care. "Later, I will send someone to the Qinghe Courtyard. You should have a set of clothes for every season."

Before Song Xingyue could decline, the Old Madame waved her hand. "I must return to my devotions. You may go."

Seeing she was being dismissed, Song Xingyue did not linger. She thanked the Old Madame deeply and took her leave.

Watching her retreating figure, the Old Madame murmured, "It seems her life is even harder than I imagined."

No one could easily endure life in this Duke’s mansion, especially someone as fragile as she. She had heard rumors and knew how Jingxi had treated her over the past two years. Fortunately, the girl was steady and had caused no trouble since marrying in.

Her nanny, hearing the tone of her voice, sighed. "There is no help for it. Her natal family is not influential, and the marriage was not exactly a traditional one; she was bound to suffer."

The Old Madame looked away from the path Song Xingyue had taken. "She lost her mother young, and her father remarried a shrew. Her life at home was not easy either. To have grown up without being corrupted is a blessing in itself. Enough, enough. Who is to blame for that incident, anyway?"

She did not continue. These matters were impossible to unravel.

*

After Song Xingyue returned, by the afternoon, someone actually arrived to take her measurements. The Old Madame’s word was not spoken in jest.

The fabrics that arrived were no longer drab, and even if they were not the latest seasonal trends, the quality was clearly exquisite. The tailor was polite, offering many compliments. Song Xingyue knew it was on account of the Old Madame, so she simply smiled and accepted it without excessive pleasantries.

The measurements were taken, and Song Xingyue chose the patterns. Danping brought the melon they had opened in the morning to the tailor. "Auntie, have a slice. It is very sweet."

After the tailor left, about ten days passed. They delivered a summer outfit first, while the spring, autumn, and winter sets were still in production. The summer clothes were light and thin, and the Old Madame had requested they be finished early.

It was a sky-blue, high-collared, side-fastened gown, paired with a blue-and-gold embroidered horse-face skirt. Even the neck accessory was included—a gold filigree necklace woven with pearls, which looked quite extraordinary. It was truly a dignified ensemble.

Danping was delighted. "Miss will look beautiful in this!"

But seeing the outfit, Song Xingyue remembered Xie Linxu’s words and felt a pang of hesitation. "Is it too flashy?"

Danping replied, "How could it be? It is not a garish red or purple. Sky-blue is a perfectly common tone; how could it be flashy?" She urged her, "Miss, stop overthinking it! The clothes the Princess makes are always too somber; they are hardly fit for a joyous occasion. This set from the Old Madame is just right."

Hearing this, Song Xingyue felt a bit more at ease. She touched the fabric gently and put it away. Since the Old Madame had gifted her four sets of clothes, she felt a sense of indebtedness. Knowing the Old Madame’s devotion to Buddhism, she found a way to reciprocate.

When Song Xingyue’s mother was alive, her father had favored his concubines over his wife. After her mother passed, he immediately elevated a concubine to the status of a legal wife. With a stepmother, life became even harder. If not for the Old Madame of the Song household protecting her and her sister, it would have been difficult for them to grow up safely.

The Song Old Madame had also loved Buddhism, and Song Xingyue had often copied sutras for her. The Xie Old Madame was the same. Song Xingyue decided to copy a set for her as well.

Time passed slowly, and soon it was the end of the seventh lunar month—the day of Elder Tutor Li’s birthday. That morning, Xie Linxu woke first. He sat by the window, reading under the morning sun. Once the sun was high, Song Xingyue woke as well. After washing, they changed into their clothes.

After all, she was only an eighteen-year-old girl; how could she not love beautiful clothes? Besides, there would be many people present. Xie Linxu always looked refined and elegant, and if she stood beside him looking drab, she would only invite more ridicule. Moreover, outsiders always loved comparing her to the third Miss Li. She found it exhausting.

Ultimately, Song Xingyue put on the new dress from the Old Madame. However, when she stepped out, she saw Xie Linxu frown.

She observed his expression and saw his dissatisfaction. She immediately explained, "This is a new dress the Grandmother made for me... I thought, since today is a joyous occasion, it would be appropriate... I meant nothing else by it."

Even if he were not observant, Xie Linxu could tell this dress was different from her usual attire. It was indeed more vivid in style and color. Yet, as she spoke, his brow remained furrowed. "Did I not say not to overshadow the host?"

Song Xingyue argued, "I am not overshadowing anyone... it is not even bright red..."

What host was she overshadowing? She could not understand it. It was just a simple new dress, yet in his eyes, it was unbearable. Was it because he disliked her that everything she wore was a mistake? She had been happy about the new dress, but now that joy had vanished, leaving her heart in knots.

He spoke so cruelly. Was he pleased to see her made a fool of?

Xie Linxu’s expression darkened further at her retort. Song Xingyue, seeing this, said in a muffled voice, "If you dislike it so much, I shall change."