Chapter 70: Endless Spasms

After lecturing his father, Bai Yu returned to his own room. With nothing to do before sleep, no desire to study history, and not even a person to warm his bed, he found himself overwhelmed by boredom.

In this idle state, he pulled the *Along the River During the Qingming Festival* out from the brick bed cavity and admired it for a while. Holding this peerless masterpiece and cultural treasure, Bai Yu experienced a complex wave of emotions. Just imagine: if this painting were to fall into his hands four hundred and sixty-five years later, what an astronomical fortune that would be?

Yet here in April of the thirty-ninth year of the Jiajing reign, he could only gloat in secret. Even if he wanted to sell it, he could never fetch the sky-high prices of five centuries later. In this era, antique masterpieces typically commanded a price of only a few hundred taels—roughly equivalent to a few hundred thousand in future currency when adjusted for overall purchasing power. With the mindset of someone from five centuries later, Bai Yu felt it would be a terrible loss. Selling the *Along the River During the Qingming Festival* for just a few hundred thousand would make him a complete fool.

The next day, Bai Yu rendezvoused with Qian, the Thousand-Man Commander, along with a dozen embroidered-uniform guardsmen whom Qian had summoned to assist. Qian had little choice; if any misfortune befell Bai Yu, he himself might well be exiled to the northern frontier to repair the Great Wall.

Chatting on the way to the prefectural yamen, Qian still hoped to dispel Bai Yu's "adventurous" notions, warning him: "You keep shouting about visiting the prefect, but have you ever considered whether Prefect Wan will even grant you an audience?"

Uncertain himself, Bai Yu countered, "What do you think?"

Qian replied with absolute certainty, "The Prefect of Shuntian is hailed as the Capital Magistrate, and his status has always been exceptionally high. If the imperial court were currently in session, the Shuntian Prefect would likewise be a minister of the throne, ranking just below the vice ministers of the Six Ministries! How could such a great figure possibly grant an audience to just anyone—especially when you share a bitter feud with him? If you hadn't brandished a blade and caught the yamen completely off guard last time, you never would have laid eyes on the prefect at all!"

Bai Yu protested with dissatisfaction, "What do you mean, 'brandishing a blade'? According to official characterization, that was a justifiable military mutiny!"

Hearing this, the surrounding embroidered-uniform guardsmen burst into laughter, and someone shouted, "Guardsman Bai truly brings glory to us all!"

The Hundred-Man Commander glared at the jesters, then turned to Bai Yu: "Though I don't understand why you insist on visiting Prefect Wan, it is useless if the other party has no wish to see you, regardless of your unilateral wishes."

Bai Yu casually replied, "Then please help me think of a way, Commander. You want today to pass peacefully without any chaos breaking out, don't you?"

Although Bai Yu was quite clear on the grand trends of history, when it came to the finer details of daily life, he still fell short compared to someone as socially experienced as Commander Qian.

Qian felt a sudden surge of irritation and wanted to hit someone. *You are the one going out to stir up trouble, Bai Yu; why on earth should I help you brainstorm? Do you take me for your idle retainer?*

Upon second thought, however, the job he was currently doing really did damn well resemble that of an idle retainer—orbiting around Bai Yu day in and day out, facing exile right alongside him.

Damn it! This was the cursed nature of the job; one had no luxury to pick and choose!

Having completed his self-psychological conditioning, Qian suggested, "Didn't they previously sentence you to compensate the yamen clerks with ten piculs of rice? Today, you can claim that you have come to discuss the fine details of the compensation—for instance, whether the rice can be converted into silver bullion. In doing so, Prefect Wan will likely grant you an audience."

Qian then explained further, "There are very few officials in a yamen like this, and those in charge cannot manage everything themselves; state affairs rely entirely on a massive network of clerks to function. If the prefect wishes to sit securely in his position, he must appease the very clerks who handle the actual administration of government affairs. Since you slashed a clerk with a sword in the yamen last time and walked away unscathed, you undoubtedly dealt a severe blow to the morale of the clerks, and some of them might harbor resentment toward the prefect. If you claim you are here to discuss the compensation details, Prefect Wan will likely be quite willing to seize this opportunity to put on a show in order to pacify the clerks—perhaps by acting tough and demanding heavier compensation for the injured clerk, which would serve as an explanation to his subordinates."

Bai Yu praised him profusely, "Brilliant insight, Commander! We'll do just that!"

Deeply uneasy, Qian admonished him, "Regardless of whether you actually intend to pay compensation, you must at least put up a facade of negotiation today and avoid intensifying the conflict!"

Bai Yu patted his chest and promised, "Don't worry, Commander! I will definitely listen to you today—harmony brings wealth! As long as the prefect is willing to see me, no matter what he says, I will wear a smiling face!"

Bai Yu's credit score in Qian's heart was exceedingly low. Even upon hearing this guarantee, Qian still looked skeptical and muttered, "I always feel like you're plotting something."

Bai Yu could only say, "Words are useless; just watch my performance. Today, I will absolutely not escalate the conflict. We will walk in peacefully and walk out happily."

As they spoke, the party arrived at the northern side of the imperial city and appeared before the main gates of the Shuntian Prefecture Yamen.

Clearly, the security of the yamen had been significantly tightened. Strong-arm bailiffs were on duty at the main gates, and some had even replaced their iron rulers and fire-water clubs with actual blades.

Seeing a dozen embroidered-uniform guardsmen swarming around Bai Yu and loitering unseemly outside the gates, the yamen treated it as an imminent enemy invasion. Copper gongs sounded frantically, driving the alarm to its highest level!

Bai Yu raised both hands high and shouted at the top of his lungs, "Don't get excited! I am here to make peace!"

He then stated his purpose, declaring that they were here to discuss the compensation issue.

Sure enough, before long, word came down from the prefect ordering Bai Yu to enter the grand hall for a meeting.

Such was the rationality of a politician: even if he wished in his heart to kick Bai Yu to the ends of the earth, he still had to grant an audience for the sake of appearances.

Bai Yu had originally wanted a private meeting with Prefect Wan Su, but unexpectedly, this idea met with universal opposition.

Commander Qian, fearing that Bai Yu might assault the elderly prefect, insisted on sitting in on the proceedings inside the grand hall to intervene promptly should Bai Yu have another episode.

The fifty-odd-year-old Prefect Wan likewise dared not hold a private meeting with Bai Yu, insisting instead on stationing two burly guards to his left and right.

Thus, the meeting commenced in a bizarre atmosphere, with everyone in the grand hall staring intently at Bai Yu.

Putting on airs, Prefect Wan rudely picked up his teacup and remained silent, waiting for Bai Yu to speak first.

Seeing this, Bai Yu bluntly stated, "With the prefectural examinations imminent, as a candidate, I hope the Great Capital Magistrate can offer some guidance."

Prefect Wan looked at Bai Yu as if looking at a fool. *How do you have the nerve to utter such words? Do we share that kind of relationship?*

"What are you talking about? This official doesn't understand!" Prefect Wan blurted out, a flat refusal.

Unrelenting, Bai Yu pressed on, "Actually, it's not difficult to handle. The Great Capital Magistrate just needs to tell me the examination questions!"

This remark shocked everyone present; no one had ever witnessed someone asking an examiner to leak test questions with such righteous confidence!

Even Commander Qian, who had mentally prepared himself beforehand, was left utterly dumbstruck.

Driven past his limit, Prefect Wan cursed, "If your brain is sick, go get it treated! Don't waste this official's time here!"

The accompanying private secretary hurriedly whispered a reminder, "Master! There is still official business!"

Taking a deep breath, Prefect Wan began to scheme for the welfare of the yamen clerks, demanding exorbitantly:

"You slashed one of our yamen clerks, leaving him severely wounded and disabled. The court's sentence of ten piculs of rice as compensation is far too light! According to the law, injuring a finger warrants ten piculs of compensation; since you severed his arm, it should start at fifty piculs at the very least! Coupled with his other injuries, I expect you to produce fifty taels of silver in compensation! Otherwise, everyone up and down our yamen will never let this rest!"

Commander Qian prepared to play the good cop first, stepping forward to retort, "That calculation is hardly appropriate, Great Capital Magistrate!"

Yet Bai Yu chimed in out of nowhere, "The Great Capital Magistrate speaks with reason. Fifty taels is acceptable!"

Commander Qian desperately wanted to slap him across the face. *Bai Yu, are you ever going to stop having fits? Can you be serious for once?*

Prefect Wan, however, was completely thrown off. *Why did he agree so readily? In the face of my exorbitant demands, why didn't he put up any resistance at all?*