Chapter 31: The Great Tang All-Stars Nearly Annihilated!

The screen shifted once more. A majestic and domineering musical theme erupted. Inside the imperial palace, the grand banquet was filled with foreigners of various complexions!

Above the steps, a man sat upon the dragon throne. He looked down at the diverse array of foreign guests, the corners of his mouth curling upward at a forty-five-degree angle. As the banquet commenced, countless foreign emissaries—differing in skin tone, attire, and hair color—knelt at his feet to pay homage, their faces filled with profound reverence. Each carried the most precious treasures from their respective lands.

The man on the throne waved his hand, his eyes radiating the supreme arrogance of one who stands above all under heaven, his very bones exuding unparalleled pride. The music swelled to its grandest crescendo along with his gesture. The envoys bowed their heads in submission, presenting their rare tributes.

"The Great Tang has unified the four seas, its national power flourishing and shaking the world, echoing through history. By the decree of twenty-nine nations including Gaochang, we humbly offer Your Imperial Majesty the title: 'Heavenly Qaghan!'"

The man on the dragon throne laughed heartily, savoring the sounds of the prosperous Tang era. The sky screen froze at this very moment!

[The Emperor through the ages, the strongest carbon-based lifeform of the seventh century, the Heavenly Qaghan, Emperor Taizong of Tang, ranking concluded! An absolute necessity!]

[Reasons for selection: Joined the army in his youth, urged his father to raise the banner of rebellion, founded the Great Tang, secured the empire with the Battle of Hulao, and unified the Central Plains. The Xuanwu Gate Incident, a textbook-perfect coup; annihilated the Eastern Turks and Gaochang, and stabilized the frontiers. Employed virtuous ministers, initiated the Reign of Zhenguan, and laid the foundation for the Great Tang's golden age. A period of cultural prosperity—truly a six-dimensional emperor!]

[Reward I: Elixir of Health (Cures all illnesses and ailments; safe for consumption!)]
[Reward II: Descent of the True Dragon (Grants two opportunities to manifest at any point in the Great Tang dynasty, with special effects overlaid on the sky screen!)]
[Reward III: Ten Years of National Fortune (Favorable weather and no natural disasters within the borders of the Tang for ten years!)]
[Reward IV: Fifty thousand catties each of potatoes and sweet potatoes (Yielding five thousand kilograms per mu, approximately 80 shi in the Tang era!)]

In the Great Tang, Li Er looked at the rewards on the sky screen, his mouth unable to close from sheer excitement. "Hahaha... Potatoes and sweet potatoes, I have them too! And ten years of national fortune... Hahaha!"

The ministers beside him were equally stirred. They knew that in the current Great Tang, the yield of grain crops like millet and wheat in the north was only about one to two *shi* per mu. In the southern rice-growing regions, though higher than the north, it was a mere two to three *shi*. How could they not rejoice at a crop yielding eighty *shi* per mu? Though they had seen the rewards on the screen earlier, they were still stunned.

Fang Xuanling could not help but exclaim, "Your Majesty, such a reward is truly the fortune of the Great Tang. Those potatoes and sweet potatoes will ensure the people are fed; the Great Tang is invincible!"

Zhangsun Wuji chimed in with great excitement, "Indeed, Old Fang is right. And that ten years of national fortune will ensure our Tang remains prosperous and flourishing."

Cheng Yaojin, in his frenzy, grabbed Wei Zheng and shook him wildly. "You old scoundrel, did you see that? Our Emperor is an emperor for the ages! Hahaha..." He had Wei Zheng nearly gasping for air.

Li Shimin laughed aloud, "Indeed. With these, I shall surely elevate the Great Tang to even greater heights. But what satisfies me most is this 'Descent.' If any of my descendants prove unworthy, I can intervene! And this Elixir of Health—Guanyinbi has never been in good health since childhood, and these past few years, she has suffered from respiratory ailments and frequent chest tightness. With this elixir, my Guanyinbi will be well again!" As he spoke, Li Er turned and pulled Empress Zhangsun into his arms.

The ministers, seeing this, tactfully retreated outside. Empress Zhangsun leaned against Li Shimin, a happy smile blooming on her face. "Your Majesty, knowing you care for me so much, even in illness, I feel sweet."

At the same time, the voice of Tianbao echoed in Li Er's mind: [Are you satisfied with the rewards? Do you wish to claim them?]

Li Er calmed his excitement and said to his lady, "Guanyinbi, let me claim the rewards first."

"Claim!"

[Reward I: Distributed... Reward II: Distributed (Please call out to Tianbao when you wish to descend!) Reward III: Distributed (Great Tang's national fortune increased by 10 years; no natural disasters within the borders!)]

[Reward IV: Please select a suitable location. 100,000 catties of grain will be distributed in 5... 3...]

Hearing the countdown in his mind, Li Er's expression shifted drastically! He let out a startled, "Oh, damn it!" and scrambled out of the imperial study as fast as he could, staring at the open space and the bewildered ministers.

A golden light projected from the sky screen... and two mountains of sweet potatoes and potatoes, five or six meters high, appeared before their eyes. They began to slide and collapse...

"Oh, damn... Oh, damn! Run!"

In an instant... Fang Xuanling, Zhangsun Wuji, Wei Zheng, and Cheng Yaojin were buried by a pile of potatoes and sweet potatoes as they looked on in horror!

Li Er, having been further away, found the potatoes stopping just at his feet. Seeing everyone buried, he broke into a cold sweat. "My dear ministers, are you all right?"

"Come save His Majesty!" Cheng Yaojin shouted from the other side of the potato pile.

Li Er breathed a sigh of relief. "Guards... someone come quickly!"

The guards and Li Er dug frantically. It took a full half-hour to excavate Fang Xuanling and the others. Wei Zheng had been buried quite deep; when pulled out, he was gasping for air. After resting for a long while, he began to berate Cheng Yaojin.

"You blockhead! Are you sick in the head? Why did you push me just now?"

Cheng Yaojin scratched his head awkwardly. "That... sorry, Old Wei. It was a reflex; I thought you were my weapon."

"A weapon? Do you think I'd believe that? You used me as a shield and threw me into the pile!" Wei Zheng, regardless of whether he could beat Cheng Yaojin, rolled up his sleeves and prepared to fight.

Cheng Yaojin dodged, his official robes stuffed with a large load of potatoes, and bolted away. "Your Majesty... I just received a letter from my estate saying my cow died of heatstroke. I must go back to handle the funeral arrangements for the old cow!"

Wei Zheng's face turned even darker. "Your Majesty... I must take my leave!" With that, he chased after him, shouting, "You old scoundrel, stand still! If you don't give me an explanation today, this isn't over!"

Fang Xuanling and Zhangsun Wuji exchanged a glance, and Fang remarked gloomily, "How many cows has this guy lost this month?"

Zhangsun Wuji held up his hand. "If I recall correctly, this is the fifth!"

"One died in labor, one died of excessive grief, one ran into his meteor hammer, and one fell off the roof while watching the stars! Add this heatstroke victim, and that's five!"