Chapter 48: Another Farewell (4K, Additional Chapter)

The next morning, Li Mi woke up. As he regained consciousness, a crested ibis flew past his window, startling him and sending him into a fit of coughing that soon brought up blood-streaked phlegm. A dark premonition settled upon him that his time remaining was far shorter than he had imagined; if he lingered here any longer, he might not have enough time to make his final arrangements.

"If I were to die now, I wonder how posterity would judge me." In public, Li Mi always appeared to be an unconstrained, elegant, and carefree gentleman. Yet, at this moment, he seemed like a different person entirely, profoundly gloomy. "Am I merely a petty man who scurried about in vain, achieving nothing, with his heart fixed solely on his own official career?"

"Of course one cannot put it that way," Li Mi immediately answered himself. "Later generations might say that this man wrote such exquisite essays that even the Emperor could not help shedding tears upon reading them."

Yet this was not the evaluation I desire, Li Mi thought to himself.

However, a person's destiny must consider not only individual struggle, but sometimes also depend upon the currents of historical progress.

Had Prime Minister Zhuge not met Emperor Zhaolie back then, there would have been neither the romantic tale of three visits to the thatched cottage and the entrustment of the entire state, nor his reputation as the finest statesman of past and present. He himself had wished to be a loyal minister to his fallen state, but having failed to die alongside the Great General at that time, he had already missed one opportunity. Now, if he wished to make amends, he could only create a new opportunity for himself, yet time was running out...

Therefore, when Liu Xian entered the room to check on him, Li Mi resolved to conceal no more and spoke to him directly: "Huaichong, please help me prepare an ox cart."

"What does the teacher need a cart for?"

"I am ill; naturally, I must return to my roots and go back to my homeland."

"Your homeland... does the teacher mean Bashu?"

"You have already guessed it... Truly a brilliant child. Indeed, I am a man of Bashu, and my native village is Wuyang County in Jianwei Commandery, about a hundred li from Chengdu."

Li Mi struggled to sit up, and Liu Xian hurried over to support him, gently patting his back to help him breathe. After a long moment, he heard Li Mi ask him: "What else have you guessed?"

Liu Xian replied truthfully: "You are a former minister of my grandfather. At this age and in this state of health, yet you sought me out—it is surely connected to the restoration of the state."

Hearing this, Li Mi was momentarily stunned, and then he smiled bitterly. "You even guessed that... I am truly being clever for nothing... Then do you know who I am?"

"If the teacher does not say, naturally I do not know."

Li Mi said candidly: "I am Li Mi. Have you ever heard of that name?"

"Is the teacher speaking of the Li Mi who penned the *Memorial Expressing Feelings* and was praised by the Emperor, saying, 'A scholar of renown is truly no empty title'?"

"Hahaha, that was so long ago... Cough! Cough!" Hearing that Liu Xian had long since heard of his reputation, Li Mi could not help finding it somewhat amusing, but after laughing twice, he began coughing again. It took him a great effort to stop, and he said, "Then what do you think of that essay?"

Liu Xian thought for a moment and evaluated it: "Sincerity overflows from it, completely natural and unforced—it is a top-tier essay of the present age. Based on this single essay alone, the teacher could leave his name to eternity."

Yet upon hearing this, the expression on Li Mi's face was not one of pride, but rather of bitterness. He said, "You flatter me. An essay is merely an essay; the reason later generations remember a piece of writing is mostly because the sight of the object evokes thoughts of the person. The emotion within my essay, though sincere, was also ordinary. It was only because it was accompanied by the Emperor's imperial decree that it appeared out of the ordinary. Therefore, Huaichong, if this essay manages to be remembered through the ages, it is not thanks to me, but thanks to the reigning Emperor."

He closed his eyes at this, falling into reverie and deep thought for a moment, before suddenly asking: "Huaichong, what do you think of the present Emperor?"

For an ordinary person to critique the Emperor would truly be an act of unfilial rebellion and treason. However, at this moment, only Li Mi and Liu Xian were present, and Liu Xian had nothing to hide. He stated directly: "The present Son of Heaven has pacified the four seas, and the nine provinces enjoy peace. He has undoubtedly made great achievements for the realm."

"Yet he prides himself on his monumental merits, is extremely fond of fame, is far too indulgent toward the powerful and noble, and remains completely indifferent to the common people. This has led to commanderies and counties where officials from top to bottom collude to extort the wealth of the people, with corruption running rampant. The common folk are rendered almost like firewood beneath a boiling cauldron, mere fish and meat awaiting the butcher's knife. This is by no means a long-term plan!"

As Liu Xian spoke these words, his mind recalled what he had seen and heard in the Jingu Garden. To this day, he still found the actions of Shi Chong utterly incomprehensible.

"You speak very well," Li Mi sighed. "Yet does the Emperor not know? These matters you speak of—it is not that he is unaware of them; rather, he simply wishes to avoid trouble. Merely to secure the position of the Crown Prince, he has had to contend with the Prince of Qi for two years, ultimately leaving both sides battered and the situation in utter disarray. And as for the powerful and noble—where in the entire court and country is there not someone powerful and noble today? Should the Emperor punish even a single person, the resulting chaos in the court would not be resolved in a day or two."

How chaotic could it be?

"The clear warnings of Emperors Huan and Ling are not far past; it would simply be another Partisan Prohibition! Ah, but if a prohibition were truly enacted now, it would be ten times more cruel than the eras of Huan and Ling, and could not be resolved in decades. If the Son of Heaven had a capable Crown Prince, perhaps he would still strive to set things right. But today, the Crown Prince is incompetent; if he wishes to rectify the court's discipline, he has no foundation upon which to continue. Could he rely on his auxiliary ministers? Impossible. Thus, the Emperor chooses that having one more matter is worse than having one less, and prefers to let sleeping dogs lie."

The Partisan Prohibitions refer to two major prison inquisitions instigated over a hundred years ago by Emperors Huan and Ling of Han in order to seize control of the state administration. The emperors employed eunuchs, demoted Confucian scholars, banned private academies, and forced a vast number of literati into confinement, barring them from holding office. In response, the literati launched a fierce political counter-offensive, forming cliques to pass moral judgments and attack the government, which directly led to the collapse of the court's prestige and the loss of control at the grassroots level. Ultimately, this brewed the Yellow Turban Rebellion that swept across the Central Plains and the northern river valleys, forcing Emperor Han Ling to lift the Prohibitions and concede defeat to the literati faction.

At this point, Li Mi swept his gaze toward Liu Xian and asked, "Do you know how I resigned from office?"

Aside from that single essay, the posts Li Mi held thereafter were mostly obscure and minor official positions. How could Liu Xian possibly know? He shook his head slightly and said only, "I do not know."

Li Mi recalled: "When the Emperor summoned and appointed me back then, he spoke to me with gentle words and assigned me to be the Magistrate of Wen County. Wen County was the ancestral homeland and the place where the Great Jin rose to prominence. At that time, filled with boundless gratitude and thinking my official career would be smooth, I set about reforming governance in Wen County, protecting its borders, bringing peace to the people, cutting off all mutual provisions and contacts with the various princes, and striking hard against the numerous aristocratic and powerful families in the county. Can you guess the outcome?"

"Having offended so many people... the teacher was probably not re-employed or valued."

"Ha! Naturally, I was not valued!" Li Mi had clearly long since seen through it, patting his couch with a smile. "Yet at the time, I did not think that way. I believed that I was governing the homeland of the imperial house itself, and that I would surely have the support of the Son of Heaven! As long as the Son of Heaven valued me, what did it matter how many people I offended? So I persisted steadfastly in the Dao of the gentleman, serving as the Magistrate of Wen County for ten full years."

"Ten years..." Liu Xian was left dumbfounded. Having read extensively in historical texts, he naturally knew of many bizarre anecdotes and unusual events throughout history. Yet those who could remain as a county magistrate for ten years could be counted on one's fingers—fewer even than the occurrences of solar eclipses over the past two hundred years. This teacher of his truly deserved to be called an extraordinary figure.

"When those ten years dragged on and the court could finally no longer suppress it, they appointed me as the Administrator of Hanzhong. But my health had also collapsed, so I intended to decline this official post and return to my hometown to spend my old age in retirement. However, before my departure, I wished to offer a final word of loyal advice to the Son of Heaven, as a conclusion to our dozen or so years of ruler-and-minister righteousness.

"As it happened, at the farewell banquet, the Emperor requested that I compose a poem in the Eastern Hall.

"Logic dictated that I should speak auspicious words at such a time, but I could not do so. Instead, I said to him: 'Men also say, everything has its cause and affinity. If an official has no backing within the court, it is better to return to the fields. With the bright Son of Heaven above, how can these words be true?'"

At this point, Li Mi paused, smiled at Liu Xian, and said, "And then, I came to look for you."

Liu Xian could not help but wear a wry smile as he listened from the side. This poem was an outright public satire of the Emperor, accusing him of indulging the powerful and appointing men without discernment, an act that could almost be classified as treason. That the Son of Heaven spared his life could indeed be considered magnanimous.

Yet after finishing the reasons for his resignation, Li Mi let out a long breath and offered his summation: "Politics is the art of compromise, but as the Emperor, one cannot always compromise. If the supreme Son of Heaven behaves with blind leniency, he will lose his majesty; if he behaves with blind severity, he will lose the hearts of the people. Yet the present Son of Heaven is lenient above and harsh below, and has no successor. Once he dies in the future, the state will inevitably plunge into turmoil."

"So the teacher came to find me, to see if there is any hope of restoring the state?"

When Liu Xian spoke these words, Li Mi's breathing paused. He looked at this young master whom he had lived with for over half a year, and saw that his eyes were shining and his expression was solemn. This inevitably brought forth a surge of joy in him: he had not misjudged the person.

"I originally thought so, but now I am hesitating."

"Hesitating over what? Hesitating because I cannot accomplish this feat?"

"No matter what kind of person you are, the hope of success is exceedingly slim, yet you have already satisfied me greatly." Li Mi smiled, then said solemnly, "I am merely thinking of my plan. In truth, it is still not mature; the certainty of many matters is not yet sufficient, and it still requires waiting."

"Waiting?"

"Yes, waiting." Li Mi nodded, recalling the vow he had made years ago. "I have less than a year left to live. Even if I were to return now to make preparations, it would be far too rash. Moreover, the present Son of Heaven has not yet passed away. Even if great turmoil occurs in the future, it might sweep across the entire realm, or it might resemble the Rebellion of the Lü Clan, confining the disaster solely to the imperial court without affecting the commanderies and counties. Therefore, whether an uprising can be launched and how the state is to be restored still require waiting."

"How long must we wait?"

"If fortune favors us, five or six years might suffice. But if fortune is unfavorable, it could take ten or even twenty years." Speaking of this, Li Mi gazed intently at Liu Xian and said, "In matters of this kind, no one can be certain. How much less so for a dying man like me? Hence, I am indeed hesitating. To put it bluntly, this matter does not depend upon me; it depends upon you."

"Me?"

"You are a young man possessing infinite possibilities. Yet my plan may be too conservative, too antiquated, and out of touch with the times. It might even force you to pay a price you cannot bear, or cause the elders of Xichuan to bear a suffering beyond endurance. Whichever outcome should materialize, I will become a sinner through the ages. Can you understand this?"

Li Mi's words carried the ring of absolute finality. Liu Xian seemed to hear the clanging of metal and armor, while vaguely catching sight of a surging storm of blood and slaughter rushing toward him, making him feel momentarily suffocated. "I understand..."

Li Mi nodded and said, "Therefore, my thoughts have changed. I have decided to let you judge and decide for yourself. If you deem the restoration of the state feasible, you shall act according to your own ideas. If you deem it unfeasible, you are to act as though you have never met me. This is also the agreement between Chen Zuo and myself."

Liu Xian hesitated slightly and asked, "What about the teacher's original plan?"

Li Mi replied, "Someone will be waiting for you in Shu. Huaichong, you may never see them, but you must remember—whether it be ten, twenty, or thirty years—someone in Shu will always be waiting for you."

At this, both fell silent for a moment. Then Li Mi smiled, pointed to a wooden chest beneath the bed, and said to Liu Xian, "Open that chest."

Liu Xian dared not delay. He hurriedly dragged the chest out and lifted the lid. Inside lay several sets of spare garments, beneath which was concealed a bundle of book scrolls. Liu Xian lifted this bundle out, and his eyes were quickly drawn to the title on the book covers: *Collected Works of Zhuge Liang*.

Li Mi smiled and said, "The statecraft I have taught you in daily life actually originates from this set of books. I compiled this privately; you must keep it safe. Until the time is right, do not let others know. This is the most complete collection of the *Collected Works of Zhuge Liang* in existence. Back then, Chen Zuo presented a version to the reigning Emperor, but its content was likely only a third of this set."

Liu Xian laughed upon hearing this. So even someone as eager for an official career as Chen Shou would play such tricks on the Emperor. At the same time, he understood clearly that this set of books held extraordinary significance for Li Mi, Chen Shou, and indeed all the former ministers of Shu-Han. That Li Mi was handing this set of books over to him was ample proof of the depth of his expectations.

Yet he still had one question at present that required Li Mi to answer in person, so he asked: "Teacher, what was the real purpose of having me farm the land with my own hands over the past half year? I have never been able to figure it out. Was it simply to make me suffer?"

Facing this doubt, Li Mi laughed heartily once more. After his laughter subsided, his trembling fingers tightly grasped Liu Xian's hand, revealing a look of profound gratification as he said, "Yes, it was precisely to make you suffer!"

"Ah?!"

"Huaichong, the hardships of life far exceed your imagination, let alone undertaking a monumental task like restoring a state! Emperor Zhaolie feigned death amidst corpses; Emperor Gaozu went out to suppress the rebellion of Ying Bu despite his illness—these are feats that require extreme endurance to accomplish. I had to be certain that you are capable of suffering, capable of enduring what ordinary men cannot! Gou Jian slept on firewood and tasted gall so that he might avenge his destroyed state! Do you understand?!"

"What life fears most is suffering without knowing why, enduring without knowing for what purpose, and spending one's life in a state of bewilderment—suffering in such a manner has no end. Yet if you wish to achieve extraordinary feats and establish an immortal foundation, you must possess a will and a breadth of mind unmatched by ordinary men, so that you may conquer hardship and encompass suffering! This is the true meaning of the Dao of the gentleman as spoken of by Mencius!"

Hearing Li Mi's sincere and soul-stirring admonition, Liu Xian felt a surge of warmth in his chest. He gripped his teacher's hand in return and said, "I completely understand the teacher's painstaking efforts..."

At the same time, he thought to himself: In this world, how many people would be willing to speak such truths to the reigning Emperor?

Faced with these unpayable expectations and entrustments, Liu Xian's chest surged with emotions so violently that he almost shed tears. Yet, remembering his vow to his mother, he quickly turned his face aside and covered his weeping with laughter.

Three days later, Li Mi's health improved slightly, and he climbed hunchbacked into the ox cart that would take him back to his hometown.

Liu Xian escorted him for ten li, all the way to Qili Ravine. Along the way, the willows swayed gently in the fine, misty rain. Finally, he bid farewell to this teacher with whom he had spent such a short time—this was also the final meeting between master and disciple in this lifetime.

(The Scroll of Chasing the Sun Ends)

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