Chapter Thirty-Seven: A Belated Apology

She was certain that Zhao Zheng was still angry about her "absenteeism" over the past two days.

She didn't even dare to dream of egg pancakes or meat; she would be perfectly satisfied with just some scorched rice crust.

"Borrow?" Zhao Zheng said. "Can you even pay it back? You are dragging three children along on your own, and that mother-in-law of yours is lazy and gluttonous. What do you have to offer as collateral?"

Zheng Chunmei felt a surge of sorrow rise from the depths of her heart. Since her husband passed away, her life had been nothing short of miserable. She had to manage the household while constantly struggling to find food. She had initially thought she could rely on Ma Dazhu, but he turned out to be all show and no substance—worse than Old Third Zhao.

Still, it was only because of the famine; if the harvest were good and the children were a bit older, she was sure she could provide for her family.

"Uncle Zhao, I will definitely pay you back!"

"Empty promises mean nothing. Your mother-in-law is a rascal; I can't just go to your house and demand grain based on your word alone, can I?"

"Chunmei, it’s not that I don't want to help you. As the old saying goes, lend to those in urgent need, not to the chronically poor. Your entire family relies on you; I fear you won't survive this famine."

"I certainly will not be lending this grain..."

Zheng Chunmei felt a sense of despair. But what else could she do? Old Third Zhao was right—she was chronically poor, and there wasn't a single grown man in the house who could shoulder any burdens. Her mother-in-law was lazy and would occasionally even waste money on herbal medicine. In a household like this, who would dare to lend grain?

She was frantic with worry when a thought suddenly flashed through her mind. "Uncle, when my Erdan grows up, how about he takes care of you in your old age?"

She believed Zhao Zheng would surely agree. He had fallen out with his own family and had no one left to support him. He would have no one to care for him later in life. Yang Zhaodi and Zhang Xiaoe were still young and would surely remarry eventually.

"If you agree, I'll have Erdan acknowledge you as his foster father!"

Zhao Zheng gave a smile that was not quite a smile. "You want me to raise a son for the Li family? Do you take me for a fool? Even if I have truly broken ties with my family, my property will never be left to an outsider. Do you understand?"

"Besides, I am not so old that I am on the verge of death. If I really wanted someone to care for me in my old age, it wouldn't be impossible to just go out and pick up a child to raise."

"Chunmei, you want grain but aren't willing to pay the price. Where in this world is there such a good deal?"

Zheng Chunmei’s mind was in turmoil. She kept feeling that Old Third Zhao was dropping hints. Could it be that he also wanted... No, that was absolutely out of the question. Letting him take some minor liberties was one thing, but how could she engage in such shameless acts with an old man? Ma Dazhu might have many brothers, but at least he was unmarried, young, and had the skills of a hunter. Even if Ma Dazhu was useless, there were others in the village. She, Zheng Chunmei, was not bad-looking, and with her wide hips, she was known to be fertile; surely there were others who would want her.

"Uncle, you know my situation. I really don't have anything of value to give..."

Zhao Zheng waved his hand. "I don't want to hear about your troubles. Whose life is easy right now? Is it only your family that is struggling? There are plenty of widows and widowers in the village who are much worse off than you. Go home."

Zheng Chunmei clenched her fists, feeling both angry and frustrated. She had sacrificed so much—worked so hard massaging his head—only to not even get a bowl of scorched rice. He was truly a terrible person. She thought with pride that if she were willing, there would be plenty of others lining up to take her.

However, catching the aroma drifting from inside the house, her feet felt as if they had taken root; she couldn't move a step, her eyes fixed and wide. Her mind was entirely consumed by a craving for food.

Seeing her distraught state, Zhao Zheng decided to fan the flames. "Zhaodi, is the meat stewed yet?"

"Almost done."

"Then let it stew a little longer. It’s only delicious when it’s tender. When it's ready, serve it over a bit of millet rice and drizzle the broth on top—it’s so good you could swallow your own tongue," Zhao Zheng said lazily.

Zheng Chunmei felt her head buzzing. She hadn't guessed wrong—they were actually stewing meat inside. At the thought that those two "jinxes" who killed their husbands, Yang Zhaodi and Zhang Xiaoe, could eat meat while she was still calculating how to get a single vegetable pancake, her jealousy reached its peak.

She turned around with great difficulty. "Uncle Zhao, how do you have meat to eat?"

"Oh, you haven't left yet?" Zhao Zheng asked, feigning ignorance, then lied, "Oh, I went to cut wood at Golden Chicken Mountain two days ago and caught a frozen pheasant. I was going to sell it, but then I thought my family hadn't had a taste of meat in a long time, so I kept it to satisfy our cravings."

"Damn that Old Third Zhao, how is he so lucky?" Zheng Chunmei cursed internally. "That waste Ma Dazhu, and he calls himself a hunter? He's not even as good as an old man!"

After cursing him in her heart, she forced a smile. "Uncle Zhao, you are truly lucky."

"It's alright, I suppose." Zhao Zheng picked at his ear. "Chunmei, it’s getting late. I won't keep you for meat."

Hearing this, Zheng Chunmei’s eyes turned green with envy.

This was clearly a blatant seduction. The thought of a pheasant stewing just a wall away made her skin crawl as if ants were crawling all over her.

"Uncle, can... can you let me taste... just one bite? Even just a spoonful of the broth would do," Zheng Chunmei said with difficulty.

"I have a large family to feed," Zhao Zheng said, dragging it out again. He knew Zheng Chunmei looked down on him, and he was determined to make her "kneel" to speak with him.

He sat up straight and stared at her. "Chunmei, tell me the truth: was it your Erdan who stole the chicken that Xiaoe was raising?"

Zheng Chunmei was startled and subconsciously shook her head. "No!"

Zhao Zheng smiled faintly. "It seems you still haven't realized your mistake. Go back; there's no need for you to come here again."

Seeing Zhao Zheng dismissing her once more, Zheng Chunmei grew anxious. Only then did she realize why Zhao Zheng had been toying with her over and over—it was all because of the "chicken theft." If she admitted it, would she be even deeper in "debt" to Old Third Zhao? But if she didn't admit it, she would never be able to get food from the Zhao house again. Her mother-in-law would surely nag her to death if she found out.

She struggled internally for a long while before finally showing a hint of shame. "Yes... I'm sorry, Uncle Zhao. The child didn't know any better. I've caused your family trouble!"

"You shouldn't be apologizing to me," Zhao Zheng said blandly. "You're crying to the wrong person."

Zheng Chunmei froze, then immediately realized what he meant. Her tone was strained. "Then... I should go apologize to Xiaoe?"

Zhao Zheng didn't speak. Toying with Zheng Chunmei was merely his way of exacting revenge. He had grain; what kind of woman couldn't he get? Not to mention a widow with three children, even a young virgin in her teens—if he wanted one, there would be plenty of people offering her up.

Zheng Chunmei knew that if she didn't apologize to Zhang Xiaoe today, not only would she be unable to continue coming to the Zhao house for food, but Old Third Zhao would surely continue to make things difficult for her.

Gritting her teeth, she pushed open the middle door. Looking at Zhang Xiaoe, who was sitting in front of the earthen stove tending the fire, she said with shame, "Xiaoe, the chicken you were raising half a year ago... it was my Erdan who stole and ate it."

"I'm sorry. As his mother, I didn't discipline my child well, and I've caused you trouble."

"When... when the harvest is better, I will pay you back double. Is that alright?"