You smell so wonderful!
“No, no…”
The next morning, as Herbert struggled to escape the clutches of his dreams, sorrowful and hollow words still escaped his lips.
“A minotaur won’t do either, cows, cows!”
“Don’t, don’t… ha!”
Finally fully awake, Herbert snapped his eyes open and quickly covered his mouth.
“Ugh—”
Leaning on the table, he retched for quite a while, trying to purge the terrifying memories along with the dry bread he had eaten the night before.
Was it terrifying?
Yes, it was.
After a long while, Herbert recovered and buried those forbidden images deep within the recesses of his mind.
This evil deity… was unbelievably dark!
As Herbert tearfully condemned the malevolence of the dark god, a strange color suddenly flickered in his peripheral vision—something that shouldn’t have appeared here.
Hmm?
“What is this?”
Looking down, Herbert saw pink lines on the back of his hand, intertwined with the holy mark, forming an eerie heart shape. A huge question mark appeared above his head.
Hmm?
Hey, you know, this little thing actually looks familiar!
It seemed like something he had seen many times stored deep in his mind’s archives...
Hmm.
“…Lewd, uh, silver lines?”
No, that can’t be right!
This kind of thing shouldn’t appear on a man!
No man should have it!
.
.
Ciallo~ (∠・ω
Today, I’m diving into the sea as a succubus!
Ta-da!
A succubus paladin!
One who devours all four cuts~
Please give me your full support, keep the likes coming—
“…Tsk!”
After a moment of reckless self-deprecation in his mind, Herbert’s consciousness finally returned to normal.
Squinting, he silently stared at the back of his hand, where the pink lines had already faded away completely. No matter how he tried to provoke them, they never reappeared.
But he knew clearly, with absolute certainty—
That vision just now was not a morning delusion. Those things were still there!
Not on his flesh, but deeply engraved upon his soul.
Why was Herbert so sure?
Because he had just experienced this sensation yesterday.
Yes.
It was the feeling of receiving a blessing after swearing an oath!
Good news: he had received a new blessing.
Bad news: it was not from a righteous god.
He had been generously blessed by some unknown dark deity, who had also marked him with a symbol—let’s call it a demonic tattoo.
Damn!
That dark god had brought him to his knees, surely intending to make him a vessel of starry wrath!
Within less than half a day after officially becoming a paladin, Herbert had regretfully become a minion of an evil god, achieving a rather impressive record in the challenge of faith.
“What is this? Forced love or something…”
Herbert scratched his head in frustration.
No, bro, you’re just messing me up!
No one heard Herbert’s lament—because he dared not cry out loud and silently shed tears within.
A gentleman guards his solitude; walls have ears.
Realizing he might very well have become a henchman of a dark god, Herbert immediately redefined himself as a criminal suspect, adopting a cautious, adaptive stance.
He sniffled hard, refusing to let the tears fall from the corners of his eyes.
Being tormented by a pure blessing wasn’t enough; now he had an evil god’s blessing too… what was going on?
It was bitter.
His fate was bitter!
After lamenting his ill fortune once again, Herbert regained his composure.
Having been unlucky throughout his past life, his spirit had long grown accustomed to sudden hardships.
No matter what happens, as long as he was alive, life must go on.
“From now on, there are only two paths.”
Should he continue down the paladin route and report himself to his superiors?
As a paladin, the most sensible thing to do now was to seek help from the high-ranking clergy, letting them handle everything happening to him.
But to be honest, Herbert hesitated.
Reporting himself could clear his own suspicion, but it would also completely hand over the power of life and death to others.
Moreover, could he really trust these ascetic monks?
The cases of macho predecessors recorded in the scriptures were glaring warnings, constantly reminding Herbert what fate awaited those who did so.
These ascetics seemed indifferent to the world, but when fighting evil, they were never gentle believers—they adhered to a militant principle: “Eradicate all evil, better to kill ten thousand innocents than let one go!”
Even extremists found them too radical.
If the evil god’s blessing on him could be removed, that would be best, and everyone would rejoice.
But if… it couldn’t?
Then what awaited him might only be death or endless imprisonment.
Herbert turned his head and looked at himself in the mirror, seeing his haggard face worn down by a night of nightmares.
He also saw the deep resentment hidden in his pale gray eyes.
Death or captivity—neither was what he desired.
He was not a true paladin.
At least at this moment, he had not yet embraced the sacrificial spirit for order and justice.
Since his thoughts were clear, the choice was obvious.
“Dive in!”
Herbert picked up his pen and quickly wrote, offering his respect to that unknown, taboo entity.
“Having drifted through half a life, I only regret never meeting a wise lord. If you do not forsake me, I wish to call you my righteous father!”
.
.
The dark god did not respond.
No matter what Herbert wrote on the paper, there was no reply.
He didn’t know if it was playing hard to get or truly unable to respond.
“...Can only go online after midnight?” Herbert guessed in his heart and could only helplessly accept the entity’s unreliable disappearance.
To avoid drawing attention and evade others’ gazes, Herbert burned the chat records and went nowhere, returning straight to his workplace early in the morning.
Though he wasn’t eager to go back so soon.
Sure enough, the moment he pushed open the prison door, a loud, fully charged curse erupted like a tempest, stirring a wave of energy.
“***! ***! *****!”
The madwoman who had kicked him yesterday had long been waiting, launching a relentless verbal assault.
Valentina had wanted to let it go after being teased, but the more she thought about it, the angrier she became; her bloodrage was fully charged.
She had been rehearsing her insults all night and now unleashed them all in one go.
“***!”
It was utterly cathartic, a direct venting of her feelings.
Herbert, the target, did not retort but merely smiled quietly and waited patiently.
When she finally ran out of breath, he leisurely removed the simple earplugs he had long inserted.
“Are you satisfied now?”
You rant all you want, I can’t hear a thing.
As long as I can’t hear it, my family won’t be harmed.
Valentina: ?
“You’re messing with me!? You actually… huh?”
Burning with rage, Valentina took a deep breath, preparing for round two, but her nose twitched involuntarily. Suddenly, her fierce expression froze.
Huh?
Her eyes widened, the slit pupils dilated into round ones, making her look almost adorably dumbfounded.
Herbert blinked, unsure what mood swing she was having this time, and was ready to put the earplugs back in at any moment.
“Y-you, how come…”
She stared at Herbert for a long time, sniffed repeatedly, and finally exclaimed in shock:
“You smell so nice!”
Herbert: Huh?